How come during this quarantine/coronavirus timeframe I have not written one blog a day when I have had all the necessary requirements - time,internet- to do so plentifully?
Let me retell this story I found on YouTube shared by Chad Williams here: This story is about a warrior that was magnificent yet underneath, under his armor he knew was royally fucked because he had a terrible disease, in this case it was leprosy, his skin falling in chunks. So the magnificent warrior went with his entourage to visit a very wise man that lived far away, carrying with him a lot of gold and silver to gift the wise man if only he could cure his terrible disease. When the warrior arrived at the door of the wise mans' home, he knocked on it and exposed his situation to the wise mans' servant; in turn the servant went inside the home and returned with instructions for the warrior from the wise man: He should bathe in the nearby river 7 times and that would cure him, and that there was no need for his gold and silver. The warrior turned around in fury, the wise man had not had the decency to even face him eventhough he was a magnificent warrior and that he had travelled very far, and even more, he had to do something so insignificant as to bathe seven times in a dirty river when back at home he had plenty of fresh water, he argued out loud. The people that had travelled with him tried to calm him down arguing that indeed this came from a very wise man and that there should be a reason why he had said so. Finally the sick warrior removed his body armor and bathed in the river, and on the seventh time he came out with skin as new and smooth as baby skin.
Ok, have a look: The warrior 'removed his armor' to bathe in the river. The armor is the ego. He thought only something sophisticated would be able to cure him, yet he had to humble himself and take the simple treatment.
So what was preventing me from writing ever day? Ego. At some level I was like the warrior of the story, thinking 'too high' of myself for something so simple as 'a blog a day for 7 years' to cure me from my dissonance with Life - leprosy in that story. Take the simple treatment, before it's too late!
Osho says, how to know if something I am doing is good or bad? If it feeds the ego, stop it, drop it immediately, he says.
Let's thus say, if something - like writing a blog a day- challenges the ego, keep doing it then.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow the ego to determine what I do and don't do.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am my ego.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that excuses really are ego in desguise.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that the reason why I would not support myself is always ego.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that where there is a will there is a way, and where ego is there is no way.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand the power of self will.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to delude myself into believing my own excuses and shortcomings as real and acceptable.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up so easily.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disregard the solution as the 7 years to freedom as 'so simple' for my big ego.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that whenever I don't support myself, I support my ego instead.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that whenever I accept the solution and walk the journey, I find that I enjoy it.
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