Day 223: My moment of Freedom

Today I am writing from my phone, I remember I used to do this when I was in the psych hospital where no laptops were allowed, I would take one hour to write a blog on the time we were allowed to go to the garden and have our phones. Writing a blog a day was all that I had left, my freedom being taken away an on the path of recovery, although I suspect that I spent more time there than was necessary, but also because at some point I didn't  have yet a place to go live, so I had to sort that one out.

Having lost virtually everything in the past and now writing from my phone for this blog makes me remember to be humble. Now I have a decent job and a decent place to live, but sometimes I overlook writing. 

Back then it was all I had, my moment of freedom, of doing something that would last and that has meaning and gives me meaning, something with wich improve myself and that I can build upon.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take for granted what I have

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not value what I have

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget that writing is my moment of freedom

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that if I give up writing I am giving up my freedom

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe my freedom is my hability to consume and buy

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that unless I remind myself why I write, I will give up writing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that writing has meaning

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that unless I write, I will never be free

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, in days, give up writing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not give writing the importance that it has

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become complacent and not write the more comfort I have in my life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disregard the opportunity of writing that each day presents

I commit myself to write every day by doing it in any way that works for me

I commit myself to remind myself of the time I had nothing but writing left

I commit myself to remind myself that writing is the tool that allows me to build myself and keep sane and to never forget it

I commit myself to remind myself of the reason I write 

I commit myself to remind myself that I am not free because I own more stuff but that I have to complete my seven years to self freedom blogs and process

Day 222: Writing as Me

I realise I don't have to judge my writings, what comes out, comes out, and that's it. Because otherwise I am worried that they are not so good. How can a writing be good or not good? That is separation.

Sometimes I worry as how I will sound, like I am complaining for example, and I don't want that - but I have to simply check within myself if I am complaining or not, not how I think others will percieve it.

I will continue to write unconditionally and let go of the idea that they are good or bad, as that is my judgement of them not the reality of it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe writings can be good or not good, in separation of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I have to say something special in order to write.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be here as breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I have to say grandiose things.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I am not special.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I have to have a high standard of writing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rate my writings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my writings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not allow myself to write unconditionally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I can write unconditionally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear writing unconditionally.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that my writings as they are are perfect and it is only the mind that judges that can make one think otherwise - but they are what they are.

 

Day 221: Christmas and Jesus

Let's give thanks to Jesus, not for dying but for having lived. If he did what he did, we can do it too.

If we want to celebrate Jesus, let's do it properly = Give as you would like to recieve. Do unto another what you would like to be done unto you. Love your neighbour as yourself.

Right now, there are no romans, so no one will kill you for being more like Jesus. No emperors to shut you down. We are free to express ourselves and to change for that which is best for all. That would be to become the best version of ourselves.

We forget Jesus had the same problem we are facing now, the wolrd might be more technically advanced but the core problems are the same. Jealousy, Envy, Greed, Abuse and so on are still very much on the table the same that were on these days.

We forget that he was a living, breathing, human being. This makes me uncomfortable because I am the same, I have the same opportunity he had to make a change. On his time it was not possible, but times have changed. Let's unite in purpose for a wolrd that is Best for All.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I have the same opportunity that Jesus had.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that I am One and Equal with Jesus.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I have the same two hands and two legs and voice to speak like Jesus did.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear standing up for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that if I stand up for myself something bad will happen.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that nothing has happened in all the years that I have been half-assedly applying myself in process so nothing will happen in terms of 'bad repercussions' if I stand up for myself fully.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that Jesus didn't have any special powers that I can claim I cannot be like him - as anyone can apply the message of Jesus as mentioned on this blog.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to live the message of Jesus.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to focus more on the miracles performed by Jesus than on his message.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that the entire universe is supporting world change and we on earth should do the physical step of applying it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I 'don't have to be a sinner' meaning to repeat the same mistakes I see for myself are not best for me, but can instead forgive myself and let go completely..

Day 220: Addicted to the Pixel

 Energy, energy addicts - where will the next kick come from? Life seems so boring. But is this really what life is about? The next fix? It seems like then we are serving the energy god, giving it the next dose of energy, instead of living here unconditionally.

Porn is pixels on a screen - a square shaped trap for the modern man.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that life consists of highs and lows.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that unless I stopp the energy patterns - they will continue to exist within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I am not energy.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I am not free as long as I participate in energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to the square shaped pixel.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that life should consist of highs and lows.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that unless I become my own solution I will continue to be my own problem.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I can free myself from the pixel.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I am trapped by the pixel.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see the bait in master bait - masturbate.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I don't have to participate in energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I don't participate in energy = I will die.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that what seeks stimulation is the mind, I am feeding the mind, not myself as who I really am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that unless I change my addicction to the pixel = I will continue to be enslaved by it.

I commit myself to stop my addiction to the pixel.

Day 219: Picking up Speed

Three blogs in a row, it looks like I am picking up speed, but the same thing happened other times and then I let myself slump, write less, go back to the habitual patterns. I can't say the same thing happened before because every time I do anything is a new moment, so I will simply proceed to forgive myself for letting myself down by not writing consistently in the past.

I realise I don't have to let myself down again, that if I don't write one day I will write the next. I don't accept or allow myself to judge myself for the past - but act in every moment to do what is best, regardless of everything that has happened in the past.

To look back at the past and not act is merely an excuse, and to look at the future and fear to not being able to keep the pace to then stop, is an excuse as well.

I commit myself to stop excuses and write as I can, every day if I can - without using the past or the future to affect if I write or not write a given day. 

I see that each day is a new day, a new life in one day, so I can decide to write, support myself and everything in between.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up on writing in the past even if temporarilly.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that every day is an opportunity to support myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am not worthy of writing every day.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to believe I am worthy of being consistent.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not worthy of being the best version of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I can become the best version of myself and that I am worthy of it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I don't deserve being the best version of myself.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that believeing I don't deserve to be the best version of myself is manipulative because then I cannon assist in changing the world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use my limitations as an excuse to not have to change myself and the world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that unless I change myself I don't have a chance at assisting to change the world.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see the dishonesty in saying I want to change the world but not changing myself first - to the best version of myself.

218: We are Playing the Game - What Will You Do?

I was listening to this interview by Bernard Poolman and it made me remember the time as a kid when our local youth center prepared a real life roleplay game for us, in short it showed us how bureaucracy works, making it impossible to get the anything because yet another paper was needed, which to get it you had to go to that third place and there you still needed something else.

We have made this game, this life, hard for ourselves, but more for those of us that are outside 'first world' countries. We delulde ourselves even with the name, first world, third world - There is only one world.

And we are responsible, because we humans are the ones that can support all other life, including taking care of - aha - each other.

I suggest listening to interview by clicking here,  2012 -- Why Self Forgiveness?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I am responsible directly or indirectly by everything that happens in this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I am responsible for not speaking up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear speaking up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that unless I speak up I will be held accountable for what I have accepted and allowed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that even if I believe I don't participate in the atrocities in this world, I am indirectly responsible for them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that unless I change myself and with that my environment then I will be held accountable for what I've done.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that this world is not a pretty picture as it is not a pretty picture what goes on in my mind - but I have to change both.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I am capable of changing myself and with this facilitate change in the world.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I am responsible for the atrocities in this world indirectly.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I am responsible for everything of myself, every thought, every reaction and every inaction.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to in moments I see I can speak up = not speak up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I am here and I can decide to change myself as it is the only way.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to be patient with myself and give up on myself.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that all this time that I have not changed can serve me as courage to finally stand up for myself and change.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realise that the moment to change is in every breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to waste breaths participating in energy and addictions - that consist of energy

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I am here, but don't know for how long - thus I should direct every breath towards doing what is Best for All

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a polarity where I forgive myself to feel good to then repeat the thing, abusing self forgiveness in the process.

I commit myself to make my self forgiveness final = to not repeat what I forgive myself for.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disregard the awareness that comes with self forgiveness, where I see that I am about to do something that I have said I would not do, and yet continue doing it.

I commit myself to honour the awareness that comes with self forgiveness to not repeat that which I forgive myself for.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stop wanting self forgiveness to work when I see that my awareness is always there and I knowingly repeat that which I forgave myself for.

 

Day 217: 10 Minutes a Day

 What if I dedicate 10 minutes a day to do that thing which I resist that I know is beneficial for me? It is a cool trick because it breaks the initial resistance of doing something by putting myself to do it knowing it is only 10 minutes, and I don't have to do more. Over time I can increase this amount and so create a habit. This I can apply to writing blogs because sometimes an excuse is time, but who does not have 10 minutes each day? Then I know I don't have an excuse not to write.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not find solutions to write each day.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that I can apply myself at least 10 minutes each day to write.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I can trick myself into doing things that are beneficial for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I have to ‘make it work’ so whatever works it is fine.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to direct myself in practical ways to write.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I can write each day.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that if I miss even one day of the week every week, that means one additional year that this process will take.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that writing each day of the week is essential to complete the 7 year journey to life in 7 years.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become complacent with not writing this blog.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I am capable of writing each day of the week.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that the same discipline I put towards work I can put towards writing this blog.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I am indeed in my own hands.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I am my own cure.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that unless I stand up and write every day, I will not create consistency and consistency is key.

Day 216: Learning to Act Despite 'Not Wanting to Act'

Do I not want to write this blog? I commited a long time ago to write a blog every day, by then I wanted to write a blog every day, so it is not true that I don't want to write a blog a given day, that is the lie.

So is one day I don't want to lie, I mean if one day I don't want to write -- wait, did I not say that not wanting to write is a lie? Yes, not wanting to write is a lie. The only reason I will not write one day here is if I cannot physically do it, but since I am home and I have time, I will write today.

On commitments: If I commit to something, I should question the fact that I 'don't feel like' or 'don't want to' do it. Because it is not real. The decision was already made. In any case I should question the decision, and if the answer is that the decision is valid, then I should honour it by doing the decision.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I don't want to write.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that resistance will be there where I have to change.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to learn to act despite apparently not wanting to act.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that unless I face my resistances I will not be able to accomplish my goals.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that unless I support myself, no one will do it for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that now that I can write I should write because I don't know if I will be 'possessed' into not writing later on and then it will be too late.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to write.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that unless I change, I will not change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself no not see, realise and understand that I will come up with every excuse to not write.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to underestimate the power of writing.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that writing is my only cure.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give into resistances.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that it is in the small acts, such as writing a blog a day, that change happens.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I am alone with myself and that I should not underestimate how 'bad' it can get if I don't correct myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that if I don't direct myself my mind will direct me for myself.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that if I 'turn on the autopilot' I will for sure not change - as I will not do that which I resist.

When and as I see that I go into resistance to writing, I stop and I breathe, I realise that I am fine if I write. I commit myself to write a blog a day.

Day 215: My Creation in Creation

 

This is my creation, everything I do = I am creating. Every act of creation should consider everyone elses best interest, this is the interest of everyone, which includes me in 'EveryOne'.

For instance a house, it comes from Earths' materials and it is best that everyone has one.

Food, and water is the same. Health care. And Fun! Fun that takes everyone into consideration meaning that it does not harm anyone or anything here on Earth.

It is so easy, as participants of this Earth we can vote for this, and I am doing it by sharing what I see, here, in writing for everyone to see. Shart this if you can see it too, or give a like if you can!

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see my responsibility in creating a world that is best for All.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that in everything I do I am voting and participating.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I am not my thoughts, feelings and emotions - as that is an automated system that I have to stop.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that the systems in me will take time to stop, as so will the current systems on earth, but this does not mean that I cannot start with myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that everything has a starting point where one can start, as 'a journey of a 1000 miles starts with a single step'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become overwhelmed by the current creation.

I forgive myself that I haven not accepted and allowed myself to speak up even if the world is fucked up currently - as within, so without.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that the world is a reflection of self.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I can do so much more.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that a within the mess that is Earth currently I can stand up as a voice for myself and for All.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that things will get worse until enough individuals stand up and say no more.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that unless I stand up for myself and for All I will not be putting my piece of the puzzle and many others will not stand up because of that.

I commit myself to stand up for myself and not hold back

I commit myself to share my common sense perspectives

I commit myself to remind myself that my creation is what I will leave behind

Day 214: This Opportunity in Matter

I was watching a movie where a horse sacrifies itself to save her owner, by running until it dies of exhaustion, this made me realise we are in matter, then we stop being in matter, the shape and form we are allowed to live for a moment is a gift, what are we going to do while we are in matter is what matters. We cannot possess matter, we are only given this opportunity to be in matter. Why so much fuss? Why so much abuse of Earth while we are made out of the same substance a horse is made of, a rock is made of, a flower is made of? 

Instead we should, as soon as we arrive an take shape in matter, honour it by doing what is best for all living and the Earth, this is what matters and the opportunity we have.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that all living and non living things are made out of the same substance, we can call dust.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lose myself in energy instead of seeing realising and understanding that I am matter like all other things.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that no matter what I do, I still am matter.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from matter by participating in energy as thoughts, feelings and emotions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that no matter what happens to me, I am still matter while I am still here if I become one and equal with it

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see the opportunity that I have by being in matter of becoming one and equal with it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget that I am matter

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that the utmost purpose is to do what is Best for All

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that unless I become one and equal with matter I will have missed the point of being in matter.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I can in fact by right of being born in matter become one and equal with it

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to honour all life as matter one and equal as myself

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that I am the wind, I am the sun, I am the earth, I am all that exists

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I am the universe

Day 213: Can't Unsee

 

Once I see something, I can't unsee it, no matter what excuses I might come up with, I already know and am aware of it. Even if I believe I will not have consequence for not acting on what I see, that is not true. For example a personal point that I need to direct, or something I know I have to do, it will be always there until I take action, and if I don't I will only be creating consequence for the delay.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that there is consequence for not taking action on what I see.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I can unsee.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that ignorance is bliss.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that once I see something I am no longer innocent and cannot claim I didn't know.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that taking responsibility for all that is me and all that I can see I can do is the way forward.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that taking action is the only way out of being miserable for not taking action.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I have responsibility the moment I become aware of something.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to act on my awareness - i.e. to do what I know I have to walk.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that unless I act on my awareness, knowledge without aplication is useless.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to hide from my awareness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I can go on without acting on my awareness.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that if I don't act on what I see as awareness I will have a miserable life because I know that I know.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let my life sink into inactivity and stagnation by not acting on my awareness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I should act immediately on my awareness.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that there is no 'time' out there to do things but only the present moment/breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use procrastination and excuses to not act on what I see/my awareness.

I commit myself to act on my awareness, on what I see.

I commit myself to act on my awareness within what is best.

Day 212: Do I Have Time?

Do I have time to dedicate to myself? Do I have time to do what is best for me and for All? When faced with a difficult task, as with anything else, we don't know if we will be able to complete it because death is unpredictable - yet what is sure is the only way to get it done is to start and stick with it until the end.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being able to finish something, then I use it as an excuse to not start it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that time is a created thing that one do to dedicate to something

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that if I don't have time to do something completely, it is still the best option to start it anyway

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to make sure I can finish something before I start it, while this is impossible due to the nature of the physical as unpredictable

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I can die at any moment/day

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see the relation of die/day as any day we can die

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be grateful for every day that I get to live

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to be grateful for every breath that I get to experience and live

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take for granted my days and breaths

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that every day is an opportunity to expand, specify and improve myself

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to explore what is possible to do with this one life that I have been given

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take for granted that there is a tomorrow for myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live as if I have plenty of tomorrows as it is unknown

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to work with the certainty of every breath

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that every breath is an opportunity to either be self honest or not and the implications that this have

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that unless I start living in every moment of breath as if it is the last nothing will change

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I will have a future - using this to not stand up for myself in every breath

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put excuses to not stand up for myself in every breath

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the answers and my saviour are there in some future while all the way it is me that have the answers and can 'save myself'

Day 211: Death is so Final

Today I have been faced with this question: What do you want to be remembered as? If I die now I certainly won't be remembered in how I would like to respond to that question. I see I have been idling for a long time, maybe I didn't have the resources that I have now in the years up to now, but certainly I see overall I can do more. I let go of the past and birth me here in every breath to expand myself to be and become more.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being able to do more

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for not doing more

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I am wasting my resources

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that my resources are time and money and life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that unless I push myself no one will do it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I am not in control of how much time I have left

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am in control

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not opening up to the world in time until it is too late

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not allow myself to live

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I am here for a limited time only

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live as if I will live forever and as if everything is fine

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to leave things to chance

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not direct myself to change

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to remove the meaning from the word change in believing is something to attain while in fact it is a constant

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I will always change, the direction of the change though is what I have to direct

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that time is, in fact, running out

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand how life is passing me by

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe there is nothing I want to do

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I will not live forever

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that unless I improve myself, no one will improve me for myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear perfection

Day 210: Blank

I the past I have pushed myself too hard and then I tend to give up on myself for a while afterwards, because I didn't want it to happen I simply put a 'blank' title and jumped straight to the following general self forgiveness. The point is to walk a little bit each day and not to spill out big realisations because then I tend to withdraw, so I try to keep it simple and consistent rather than big and eventual.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not give space to myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing myself if I apply myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I am Life as who I really am

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear pushing myself too far in my process

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see realise and understand that when I think it is too much, I can still do more and I am still here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I push myself to hard I will give up

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up in the past because of pushing myself too hard

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I can write daily

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to write daily to prove anything to others instead of doing it for myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I have to live for others

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that when I live for myself, others will start to notice

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that if I live for others no one will live for me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I am not my thoughts, feelings and emotions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that if I don't give myself a chance to walk this process, it will never be done for me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that only if I give up on myself I will not make it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 

Day 209: The birth of a Bitcoiner

The fate of entire civilizations has been tied around its economic system, and the economic system tied to what storage of value utilizes, time and time again history has proven that using unsound money, and also centralized money, brings forth calamity in societies while societies that utilized the so called 'hard money' flourished, and here it comes, Bitcoin is a solution we all longed for. Hard money. I am reading, wich I suggest, The Bitcoin Standard: The Decentralized Alternative to Central Banking. by Saifedean Ammous.

The current money system is a scam, and that's why there are so many scammers on Earth right now, because, why put any effort into doing something if you can't store value anywhere safely for the long term? Better scam some. Bitcoin changes that.

It is interesting how planning to get Bitcoin, and even in getting a little of it, already changes the perspective because I start thinking long term instead of simply spending my paycheck.

There should be testimonials of how aquiring Bitcoin has changed people's life. I don't think it is only because it price is rising, but because people start thinking long term, taking more care of themselves and being more content knowing there is a future for them.

Myself, today I bought a little bit of Bitcoin, and started to do some calculations of how long would it take for me to get one whole coin. It makes you think, that really it takes a lot of effort. Then I went and prepared dinner for myself, which I hadn't done in a few days, it even made me want to shave! lol

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to investigate the relationship between what kind of money is used by a society and its societal impact

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to think long term

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that there is more than living paycheck to paycheck

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that there is a solution for society further than any philosophy

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to 'investigate everything and keep what is good'

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to want a better future for myself

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to investigate why I spend all that I earn

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt Bitcoin without studying it

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that Bitcoin will continue with me or without me

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that changing the money changes the perspective

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live for the short term

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that thinking long term is only possible with tools such as Bitcoin that allow for that 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want others to convince me of Bitcoin without looking into it myself

Day 208: Speaking Up - Don't Hold Back

 

When something bothers me, and I have to speak up, at times I tend not to, unless it is too much. But this then keeps on accumulating until I find that I have to speak up about everything, which I think is the way, to speak up whenever I see something is not aligned and that if I don't speak up it will only get worse.

This can be in personal relationships as well as with regards to this world.

For example I think I get too little gas money from my colleagues, in relation to what others recieve for the same trip, but I do not speak up. Or I see some common sense perspective in relation to the world but I do not share, for instance I think Bitcoin is a great thing, but I don't say it.

Bitcoin for instance, it is a great thing, but without the world changing, it is not that great, because we see a pattern of very rich people already dominating ownership of Bitcoin or at least being capable of owning vast amounts. So the have and have nots pattern repeats itself. So the solution would be in Education more so, because people Equal in Education cannot be fooled and are one vote each that cannot be manipulated.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to speak up.

I forgive myeself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold back

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear speaking up

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that speaking up is necessary

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that speaking up is the only way

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that speaking up might get easier with time

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I am the creator of my life

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that I am capable of directing my life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that unless I speak up, nothing in my world will change, and certainly my voice will not be heard

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I am indeed capable of speaking up

I commit myself to speak up

I commit myself to take a breath and see if what I am about to say is within the principle of what is best for all and thus for me

Day 207: Inattentive type of ADHD for Work and Study

At work I wasn't reaching efficiency, that is, I was going too slow. I didn't know why, eventhough I tried to motivate myself to go faster, nothing seemed to work. Until I researched about ADD/ADHD and I saw clearly what was happening at work: I was distracting myself with everything and anything, thus being slower in my productivity. I did by myself a screening test for ADHD and it came out that I can have the inattentive type. This means that I get easily distracted whenever I am doing something that doesn't particularly interest me.

This might explain why I have not been able so far to graduate university, which I am no longer doing. I would repeat the same subjects again and again but because I would find impossible to put myself to study, I would never pass them. Or if I put myself to study, I would get distracted with something else, and end up not studying.

Now that I know I am prone to get distracted, I can focus at work, and get the job done, this time, very effectively and efficiently. I do this by focusing on the task at hand and blocking any and every distraction.

What a game changer.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for apparently being unable to study.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that to know myself is utterly important.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a failure for not being able to pass at university.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as slow at my workplace without seeing, realising and understanding what was the cause of it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I am not a failure.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that there is always a root cause for everything.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that if I am not succeeding at life there is a root cause for it.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that I can find my root cause as to why I am failing at study and work and life in general.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that if I didn't have a problem, I would be naturally successful.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear I cannot manage ADD without medication.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself that I can overcome ADD without medication.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want a 'magical pill' to solve all my problems.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge brain-related medication as bad.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that I have to test everything, and that if that means trying medication I can do that.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that it is not all about medication when facing ADD.

Day 206: Meaning

 What is the meaning of my life, your life, when all around the world there is suffering? To have meaning would be to do something about it that results in a world that is Best for All.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I cannot do anything to alleviate suffering in the world.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that first I have to alleviate suffering in myself before I can do anything about the world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that unless I am Here as breath I cannot direct myself to have Meaning

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I have to work on myself first to be able to have Meaning

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that unless I give meaning to myself and my life, it doesn't have

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to give meaning to my life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my life as meaningless without seeing, realizing and understanding that it is me that has to give meaning to my life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I can give meaning to my life through giving myself purpose

I commit myself to give myself purpose thus having a meaningful life

I commit myself to give myself the purpose of creating a world that is Best for All

I commit myself to remind myself that once I live the purpose of creating a world that is best for All, I will have Meaning and a meaningful Life.

Day 205: Everything is Possible

 We are creators, and I realized everything is possible. When I realized this I was more thinking about the world, how everything is possible in terms of having a world that is best for everyone that is living in it. 

Then I said to myself, wait a moment, if anything is possible for the world then it is the same for me too, in terms of who I can become and what I can do. Yes, there are physical constraints, but within it I can be and become so much more than what I previously thought I could.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see the potential in myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that if everything is possible for the world = it is possible for me too

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I am indeed capable of change

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that I am capable of much more than I can think of right now

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see the capability of change in myself

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I am the creator of myself

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that only because I don't see the capability of change in myself it doesn't mean it is not there

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I don't have to be the same always - as I have been in my past

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that until I am the same 'yesterday, today and tomorrow' I cannot be trusted

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to 'kill my old self'

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to purify myself

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that that I can purify myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in the old adagio 'never change' that friends say to eachother

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am my own limitations

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that unless I change - I will not change

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realise that eventhough I might resist change it is merely an indicator that I am in the right path - how else would I know I am in the right path?

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that although change might not be easy it is also not easy to continue the same

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I cannot change

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am my own limitations

I commit myself to live the word change in every breath in self correction until it is done and the world is changed to a version that is Best for all - from self change to world change

Day 204: When You Are Ready

When the student is ready, the master appears, Buddha said. But what about Life in general? Many opportunities one is not able to get because simply one believes is not ready. But is it so? I'd say 'Be ready'. What point do you think you have to reach to be ready to take on anything? While one prepares, of course, it is not about to say 'I am ready for anything' while not improving oneself continuously. But I realised I am ready to take on any situation to the best of my hability to the best outcome for all. And I am working on it in every moment.

When facing a situation, do you think about that thing separately and try to 'solve it' or you first think about the future and then approach that situation with aligning it to the best future? One should think long term towards a Best for All outcome.

Do you think you will make an impact when you have a certain amount of 'followers' or people that know you? That is not so. The impact one does is in how one lives. And the impact we have on other people, most of them we will not know, but there is a ripple effect on every single thing we do.

We might not know by what we will be known for by others, but will we really be known by one thing? This is only in our minds, if you don't know a person personally then you will know them from online interaction maybe, and people that don't know you might decide they like you or not, but even if they don't like you it doesn't mean they are not going to listen and eventually change.

Are you spontaneous? There is a simple rule, do unto others as you would like done unto you. Thus do no harm - to yourself included.

There is only us in here, no angels are coming to save the day - Existence as a whole says it is about time. The time is right, we are ready, starting with each one doing what's Best for All.

I decide I am ready, no one else will decide it for me. Enough is enough. I trust that I will do what is Best for All and that everyone else will do too -- making sure it is visible - What is Best for All is Love made visible.

Maybe you hear from me now, maybe in a few years or maybe when I am gone, or maybe never but someone I reached reached you. I am not a saviour but by living by principle I am showing how it is done. 

And this is a decision, to walk within the principle of what is Best for All in every breath. 

Are you ready?

Day 203: Solutions In a Box

 I've thought about what if I had a box with stuff inside with instructions on how to change the world, where I simply had to follow them and that's it. But then I thought about this kind of solution is about 'changing others' where I have some material/thing that makes 'others change' and the world changes lol.

What about changing myself?

It looks like I have been trying to find a way for everything else but ME to change. Change starts with self first. Isn't it true that 'Me' is the variable that I can change, where I cannot change another.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to change others instead of changing myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place change outsisde of myself in others, where I believe that if I can make 'others change' the world will change

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have to change others for the world to change

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the goal is to 'make as much people change as possible' instead of seeing that I would be missing the point which is self change

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that 'wanting others to change' is a mistake but changing myself is the way

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I have to lead through example

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that unless I change nothing will change

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want a solution to 'change others' instead of seeing that I have to change myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that Me is the only thing that I have access to change

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that self goes first

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I will find nothing works until I change myself

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that wanting others to change is an exercise in futility

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want others to change instead of changing myself

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that what is valuable and what can make other people want to change is a changed self - i.e. standing as an example

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to look at myself and see what I can change

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I have much to change

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to take on the challenge to perfect myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept my limitations

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I can overcome my limitations

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that the solution to me lies in me changing myself in real time

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that I can unlock my own potential

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that others have to change for the world to change, instead of seeing, realising and understanding that change starts with self

Day 202: Don't Worry Be Here

Worry about the future, money, career, relationships - but what about Here? Who am I in every moment of Breath? Do I allow worry to encompass my existence? And Fear? All of those only fuel my mind so I am not present Here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear becoming my father

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not getting into university

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being stuck in a dead end job

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear university will be too difficult for me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I can do whatever I set myself to do 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I can work on anything if I am here as breath

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be hard on myself

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to be proud of myself for how far I've come

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to appreciate how much I have changed

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be changed in a single moment

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I have to walk step by step

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to appreciate what I have

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear getting comfortable with what I have so as to not expand myself further

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to appreciate the changes I have made so far

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not live the words 'be still and know that you are god'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I can trust life, as I am on Life's hands as is everyone else

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worry about the future

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe there is a future instead of walking being Here as breath to do my best in every moment - without worry for the future

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I can ground myself here whenever I see I am going into worry about the future

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worry about money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that what counts is who am I in every moment of breath

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I have to be Here as breath in every moment of breath

Day 201: Imagine Having No Memory

Imagine having no memory of the past, to know that whatever you are doing now you will not remember later - aside from being impractical wouldn't we not be so burdened? Isn't it that we draw from the past to project into the future? But if we don't have a past, the future is full of possibilities. At times I see myself doing the same thing day after day, simply because I have been doing it for so long, when in fact I don't even want to do that nor is best for me, an example would be sleeping in the afternoons after work, because I have been doing it for some weeks does not mean I have to do it again today.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to do things because 'that's what I always do'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to base my actions on my past

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to get rid of the past

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that if I don't let go of the past I will be a slave to it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I don't have to repeat the past endlessly

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give importance to the past

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I can base my decisions on what is best for me and thus for all and not from the past

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that the past is not more

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the past has power over me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to memorize eveyrhing of the past

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become obsessed in wanting to know how everything unfolded in the past

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that the past as a memory doesn't exist

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that the past is in fact imaginary, it does not exist - even if we were hurt in the past, it is not longer here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see realise and understand that I don't have to obsess so much about the past but I have to forgive and let go of any attachment I have to the past

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to my past

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am my past

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that in fact consequence comes from the past as things take time to create consequence - but this does not mean that I have to define myself or my actions according to the past

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I am enslaved to the past insofar that I am defined by it and have not forgiven and let it go

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give importance to the past, instead of forgiving it and letting it go

I commit myself to let go of the past

I commit myself to set myself free form the past in self forgiveness and self correction and practical application

Day 200: Paperwork and Bureaucracy

 

As a kid I thought bureaucracy, doing papers, was difficult. Today I successfully did some papers that I thought were difficult to make - and present - and I am proud of myself. How this limitation of believeing I couldn't do paperwork extended to other areas - meaning I thought I was less than paperwork/bureaucracy and now that I see I am not, I see that I can do anything. With patience and undersanding how something works everything is possible.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge bureaucracy as difficult

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, as a kid, believe that bureaucracy was too dificult for me to do - as in paperwork

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that everything, broken down in steps, can be done

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that I can do everything

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that because I thing something is difficult it has to be that way

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that everything is possible

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see how much I had limited myself by believing that bureaucracy was impossibly difficult

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I was making bureaucracy as something bigger than me, more than me

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realise that I am one and equal to everything that exists - thus not less than anything

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that in fact I am not less than anything that exists

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that everything that is not Best for All can be changed

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that limitations are that of the mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that there are not real limitations other than physical ones

I commit myself to show that there are not real limitations but those that we believe we have

I commit myself to whenever I think something is more than me, stop and breathe, and assess for myself how I can break it down to doable steps.

I commit myself to remind myself that I am one and equal to all that exists, which means I can participate in anything that exists successfully

Day 199: Assume Not

I was driving the other day and while leaving the parking spot I assumed I had enough space going backwards, without checking -- to my surprise I did not have enough space and I made a dent at the back of the van. So this is a reminder for me to not assume but to look for myself. Not only while driving but also in my relationships and life in general, as one said, when you assume you make an ass out of you and me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to assume I had enough space going backwards with the van

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to assume instead of looking for myself and checking to make sure

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that assuming is dangerous and has consequences

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to assume in my life

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to stop and look for myself whenever I see I am assuming

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that when I assume I am taking somehing as true without checking, which is not valid

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that assuming can even compromise the my integrity or that of the car I am driving

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to take quick decisions and thus I assume without seeing, realising and understanding that it has consequences

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I have to slow down when taking decisions so I do not assume

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rush in making decisions, and thus assume

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I have to take decisions fast

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I have to rush through life

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I can slow down and not rush through life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I can take my time to take decisions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have to be fast in taking decisions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rush through life

I commit myself to check if something is true whenever I see that I am assuming

I commit myself to stop and breathe whenever I assume, to then check if what I am assuming is true or not

Day 198: Future and Worry

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I always have to talk about the future

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to constantly worry about the future, without being here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I have to worry about the future

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not appreciate every here moment, constantly worrying about the future

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realise that the future does not exist

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that if I worry constantly about the future I am not here in every moment of breath

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the future

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that instead of fearing the future I should prepare myself for it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that unless I do what I know I have to do, I will worry about the future

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to prepare for the future

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make plans and then not prepare for them

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that if I make plans and don't prepare myself I will inevitably worry

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to repeat the pattern of making plans and not walking them so thus worrying about not completing the plans

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that making plans involve more than conceptually wanting to do them

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that unless I stick to my plans then worry is inevitable

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that worrying is enough instead of seeing, realising and understanding that I should act on my plans instead of worrying

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to the emotion of worrying about the future instead of directing myself to work on my plans

I commit myself to whenever I make plans, prepare for the plan goals practically

I commit myself to stick to my plans with real action and not only concepts/not doing

I commit myself to whenever I make plans, stick to them practically so that I am successful

Day 197: Apparently Well

So when everything is going ok it seems like I don't have anything to write, but is it? Still have a lot of things to work on.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that when everything is going ok I don't have anything to write

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the 'calm' means nothing has to be written

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there is a point when nothing has to be written

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I can always expand wherever I am

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that there is a point where it is done

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to look at the points that I still have to work on

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that once the money point is solved, everything is ok

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe just because I don't feel like writing it means I don't have to write

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I have to introspect in order to find something to write about

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that there are always points to improve/expand

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that unless I direct myself to write I will not write

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'get comfortable' because apparently I have solved the money point and not write when in fact I have a lot of points to improve, even the money point

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to succumb to the resistance to write

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe there is such a point where 'I'm done with writing'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I have a lot to work on/about myself

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see what are the points that I need to work on

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately not look at the points I need to improve on/get better at/do