Day 162: The Waiting Game

Banjo the busking dog

I am waiting for unemployment benefits. When you don't have money it is all about waiting because social services are slow.

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I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to live the word patience.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist waiting.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want everything immediate.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want things fast.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that immediacy comes through money.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that money will not give me anything else but things faster.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that money assists in materializing things faster.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that indeed without money things will move slower.

I commit myself to remain calm and relaxed within living the word patience.

I commit myself to remind myself that money is only a tool.

Day 161: Embracing Here

Embrace what you have so you can change it. Even now that I don't have I still have Life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not having money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be here as breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not having a home.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suffer from hunger.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being able to do what I want to do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing my health.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not having money.

I commit myself to support myself.

I commit myself to let go of fear.

Day 160: Streets of no Life

No job, no future. It is sad how when you don't have a job no one cares, well, some might help here and there but you don't have the ultimate solution as money and sometimes no home. It has happened to me, no job, no money, had to be rescued by a friend. It makes me cry. This sucks. We have a system that you only wake up when you have empty pockets and no home. Then you wake the dduck up. Suddenly everyone else with money denies you.

I don't have a job because of covid. I don't have a proper home because I had to leave my rented room. I  am not complaining I have four walls and a bed, but that's it. No water, no electricity. Yesterday the government that because of the delay put me in this situation, finally sent some money. Everything lits up. Make no mistake, money is possibility, no money no possibilities.

Lets make a system thats worth living where if you don't have a job you are supported.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am inferior for not having money

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to value myself for myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being on the streets

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I end up on the streets I will be mad and something will change but it is not how it goes, when one is on the street is already too late.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to dear being attacked on the streets.