Day 244: Everything Explained Briefly

 

In the Universe this is how it is structured: A bunch of people/beings in ‘heaven’ and a bunch of people/beings on Earth, if you die you go to ‘heaven’ but it’s really not better unless you are in a very, very bad place on Earth, as without the physical it is not possible to 'birth oneself as Life in the physcal'. This all means that there is no God – only a bunch of people/beings – And we have to figure out how to establish Heaven on Earth. But even this All is Knowledge and Information – it really doesn’t matter but to realize we are all Equal and One – One and Equal as Life - and as such we should honor all forms of Life, and life is Here on Earth.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see myself as a creator

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe there is a higher power

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that unless I see the common sense that no one will save me, I am in effect doomed in this life

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to trust myself as an Equal

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see myself as an Equal

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I have power as an Equal

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that there is no one above or below

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear others

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that we are all the same

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that all is Here as Me

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize the meaning of being Equal

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not  see, realize and understand that I am in fact Here

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that that I am not my thoughts, feelings or emotions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I am in fact equal to everyone else

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to honor the fact that I am equal with everyone else by acting on it through establishing Equality on Earth

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear Equality

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that there is nothing to fear anywhere

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to  see that the potentiality of Life is not the same as Life in fact.

 

Day 225: Chain of Events to the Present

 

Walk the talk, and so I walk, regardless of how many days I have missed, every day is a new opportunity to write. No need to obsess myself so much with the chain of events, meaning the past, as if in I have not written for a couple of days somehow I am cursed lol. Instead I will write on a given day if I can, without looking back at how many days I have missed, and so giving me the opportunity to write unconditionally.

It is interesting how we or I can use the past to condition our present. So use the past as an excuse. But instead I can forget about the past and simply do what is best, in every moment, regardless.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the past as an excuse to not write, as an excuse to condition my present.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand the Present in present as in the gift in present where it is a gift that is given to me unconditionally for me to do what is best.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to taint my Present with my Past - where I don't have to do that in fact.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to enjoy my Present as the present.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look back at the Past during my Present and let that influence my present negatively.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that looking back has to be done to learn form my past not to influence my Present in any other way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give importance to the chain of events to the present whereas in fact it is not important as in every single breath I can change completely, in any given breath of the Present.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow memories as the past to influence my Present.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that to truly be free I have to let go of the past and live completely in the Present as every breath Here.

I commit myself to let go of the past in every breath and live unconditinally in the Present that is the present.

Day 224: Creative Powers

Bipolar is fun - but has consequences -, that is the highs, thats why myself and others, there was a time that I didn't want to take medication for it. Because medication can make you feel normal - how horrible! - Or low, which is worse.

Because when I was in a manic high I could from my point of view, do anything, achieve anything and talk to anyone super elocuently. Eventhough I might come out as a nut to other people, I had a high drive and belief that I could do anything!

Because I could believe I was able to do anything, I would go for dubvious ventures that were out of the scope, like a supermarket chain once for example, I believed I could create that. And as time progressed then I wold think something else so nothing was done. 

But in terms of communication, I was able to communicate more with other people, even do some magic tricks with money on the spot (see speending too much money), so basically I had a lot of fun in my manic highs of bipolar.

I want to move this pure, raw belief in myself to my day to day life where I am on a normal state. Because what can one be able to accomplish with pure belief in oneself and with detailed action that not being manic gives you.

A realisation: I am not two persons, one manic and one normal or non-manic. I am one person, and whatever I was able to do while manic I can do while 'normal'.

When I was manic I had this radical belief in myself, that I could do anything, all encompassing and so big that I felt so good and everything I put myself to do, I would trust myself completely, like playing a piano in a restaurant, eventhough I didn't take one piano lesson in my life I did that.

So with that my creative powers were heightened because:

- I believed in myself 100%

- I thought I could do and achieve anything

- I wanted to have fun and others have fun with me

That is the key points.

See how interesting it is the third point: Once I believe that I can do and achieve anything there is one thing that arises and it is: To have fun. I wanted to have fun and have all others have fun with me, so I would for example share and be more active in Instagram with my adventures and I got feedback that people enjoyed it.

So once we break the barriers that we cannot change this world and we in fact believe and do it, the next point will be Having Fun together.

Disclaimer: Hipomania can lead to full blown mania, psych hospitalization and loss of money in many cases (overspending).

Day 223: My moment of Freedom

Today I am writing from my phone, I remember I used to do this when I was in the psych hospital where no laptops were allowed, I would take one hour to write a blog on the time we were allowed to go to the garden and have our phones. Writing a blog a day was all that I had left, my freedom being taken away an on the path of recovery, although I suspect that I spent more time there than was necessary, but also because at some point I didn't  have yet a place to go live, so I had to sort that one out.

Having lost virtually everything in the past and now writing from my phone for this blog makes me remember to be humble. Now I have a decent job and a decent place to live, but sometimes I overlook writing. 

Back then it was all I had, my moment of freedom, of doing something that would last and that has meaning and gives me meaning, something with wich improve myself and that I can build upon.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take for granted what I have

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not value what I have

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget that writing is my moment of freedom

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that if I give up writing I am giving up my freedom

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe my freedom is my hability to consume and buy

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that unless I remind myself why I write, I will give up writing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that writing has meaning

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that unless I write, I will never be free

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, in days, give up writing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not give writing the importance that it has

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become complacent and not write the more comfort I have in my life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disregard the opportunity of writing that each day presents

I commit myself to write every day by doing it in any way that works for me

I commit myself to remind myself of the time I had nothing but writing left

I commit myself to remind myself that writing is the tool that allows me to build myself and keep sane and to never forget it

I commit myself to remind myself of the reason I write 

I commit myself to remind myself that I am not free because I own more stuff but that I have to complete my seven years to self freedom blogs and process

Day 222: Writing as Me

I realise I don't have to judge my writings, what comes out, comes out, and that's it. Because otherwise I am worried that they are not so good. How can a writing be good or not good? That is separation.

Sometimes I worry as how I will sound, like I am complaining for example, and I don't want that - but I have to simply check within myself if I am complaining or not, not how I think others will percieve it.

I will continue to write unconditionally and let go of the idea that they are good or bad, as that is my judgement of them not the reality of it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe writings can be good or not good, in separation of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I have to say something special in order to write.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be here as breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I have to say grandiose things.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I am not special.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I have to have a high standard of writing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rate my writings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my writings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not allow myself to write unconditionally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I can write unconditionally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear writing unconditionally.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that my writings as they are are perfect and it is only the mind that judges that can make one think otherwise - but they are what they are.

 

Day 221: Christmas and Jesus

Let's give thanks to Jesus, not for dying but for having lived. If he did what he did, we can do it too.

If we want to celebrate Jesus, let's do it properly = Give as you would like to recieve. Do unto another what you would like to be done unto you. Love your neighbour as yourself.

Right now, there are no romans, so no one will kill you for being more like Jesus. No emperors to shut you down. We are free to express ourselves and to change for that which is best for all. That would be to become the best version of ourselves.

We forget Jesus had the same problem we are facing now, the wolrd might be more technically advanced but the core problems are the same. Jealousy, Envy, Greed, Abuse and so on are still very much on the table the same that were on these days.

We forget that he was a living, breathing, human being. This makes me uncomfortable because I am the same, I have the same opportunity he had to make a change. On his time it was not possible, but times have changed. Let's unite in purpose for a wolrd that is Best for All.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I have the same opportunity that Jesus had.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that I am One and Equal with Jesus.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I have the same two hands and two legs and voice to speak like Jesus did.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear standing up for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that if I stand up for myself something bad will happen.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that nothing has happened in all the years that I have been half-assedly applying myself in process so nothing will happen in terms of 'bad repercussions' if I stand up for myself fully.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that Jesus didn't have any special powers that I can claim I cannot be like him - as anyone can apply the message of Jesus as mentioned on this blog.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to live the message of Jesus.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to focus more on the miracles performed by Jesus than on his message.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that the entire universe is supporting world change and we on earth should do the physical step of applying it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I 'don't have to be a sinner' meaning to repeat the same mistakes I see for myself are not best for me, but can instead forgive myself and let go completely..