Day 223: My moment of Freedom

Today I am writing from my phone, I remember I used to do this when I was in the psych hospital where no laptops were allowed, I would take one hour to write a blog on the time we were allowed to go to the garden and have our phones. Writing a blog a day was all that I had left, my freedom being taken away an on the path of recovery, although I suspect that I spent more time there than was necessary, but also because at some point I didn't  have yet a place to go live, so I had to sort that one out.

Having lost virtually everything in the past and now writing from my phone for this blog makes me remember to be humble. Now I have a decent job and a decent place to live, but sometimes I overlook writing. 

Back then it was all I had, my moment of freedom, of doing something that would last and that has meaning and gives me meaning, something with wich improve myself and that I can build upon.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take for granted what I have

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not value what I have

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget that writing is my moment of freedom

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that if I give up writing I am giving up my freedom

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe my freedom is my hability to consume and buy

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that unless I remind myself why I write, I will give up writing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that writing has meaning

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that unless I write, I will never be free

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, in days, give up writing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not give writing the importance that it has

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become complacent and not write the more comfort I have in my life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disregard the opportunity of writing that each day presents

I commit myself to write every day by doing it in any way that works for me

I commit myself to remind myself of the time I had nothing but writing left

I commit myself to remind myself that writing is the tool that allows me to build myself and keep sane and to never forget it

I commit myself to remind myself of the reason I write 

I commit myself to remind myself that I am not free because I own more stuff but that I have to complete my seven years to self freedom blogs and process