Day 219: Picking up Speed

Three blogs in a row, it looks like I am picking up speed, but the same thing happened other times and then I let myself slump, write less, go back to the habitual patterns. I can't say the same thing happened before because every time I do anything is a new moment, so I will simply proceed to forgive myself for letting myself down by not writing consistently in the past.

I realise I don't have to let myself down again, that if I don't write one day I will write the next. I don't accept or allow myself to judge myself for the past - but act in every moment to do what is best, regardless of everything that has happened in the past.

To look back at the past and not act is merely an excuse, and to look at the future and fear to not being able to keep the pace to then stop, is an excuse as well.

I commit myself to stop excuses and write as I can, every day if I can - without using the past or the future to affect if I write or not write a given day. 

I see that each day is a new day, a new life in one day, so I can decide to write, support myself and everything in between.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up on writing in the past even if temporarilly.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that every day is an opportunity to support myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am not worthy of writing every day.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to believe I am worthy of being consistent.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not worthy of being the best version of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I can become the best version of myself and that I am worthy of it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I don't deserve being the best version of myself.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that believeing I don't deserve to be the best version of myself is manipulative because then I cannon assist in changing the world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use my limitations as an excuse to not have to change myself and the world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that unless I change myself I don't have a chance at assisting to change the world.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see the dishonesty in saying I want to change the world but not changing myself first - to the best version of myself.