Day 211: Death is so Final

Today I have been faced with this question: What do you want to be remembered as? If I die now I certainly won't be remembered in how I would like to respond to that question. I see I have been idling for a long time, maybe I didn't have the resources that I have now in the years up to now, but certainly I see overall I can do more. I let go of the past and birth me here in every breath to expand myself to be and become more.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being able to do more

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for not doing more

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I am wasting my resources

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that my resources are time and money and life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that unless I push myself no one will do it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I am not in control of how much time I have left

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am in control

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not opening up to the world in time until it is too late

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not allow myself to live

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I am here for a limited time only

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live as if I will live forever and as if everything is fine

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to leave things to chance

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not direct myself to change

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to remove the meaning from the word change in believing is something to attain while in fact it is a constant

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I will always change, the direction of the change though is what I have to direct

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that time is, in fact, running out

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand how life is passing me by

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe there is nothing I want to do

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I will not live forever

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that unless I improve myself, no one will improve me for myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear perfection