Sunday, August 5, 2018

Day 89: Acceptance and Allowance



Whatever I accept and allow in others I accept and allow in me. I know someone that likes to drink a lot, then drives and also takes other drugs. If I accept and allow that this individual comes to my place in this state is not good for me or for them, I have to draw the line and tell him I won't accept and allow to see them when they are in this state. And yes I might lose him but best to lose someone that might come back once he is sorted out than having someone close that abuses substances - which is something I won't accept and allow in me or others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear E getting angry with me for saying to him that I won't see him when he is drunk/on drugs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear E getting violent because I say I will not see him unless he is sober.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that it not seeing E when he is on drugs is best for me and for him.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept E when he is on drugs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be friends with E.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that accepting E on drugs is not being his friend.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that not accepting E while he is on drugs is what is best for me and for him.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear E aggressivity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear putting limits as to what will I accept and allow near me and in my home and what not.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that setting limits is the best I can do in this situation.

When and as I see myself fearing an aggressive reaction from E- I stop, I breathe.
I realize that fear is not real but an illusion.

And thus, I commit myself to talk to E despite my fear.

Saturday, August 4, 2018

Day 88: Fear Not

It's been a while that I have written a blog. I am back again - I was participating in excuses as to why I don't write - but no excuses are valid. Today I have come across some realizations while doing the assignment of the Desteni I Process Pro which I will share now.

Fear is not real. All fear is Self-Created. Fear is an excuse to not stand up for Self and for All. Fear sucks and today I will explain more about it as well as doing some Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Application on it.

What is Fear? What is Fear but a self created illusion to not have to stand up for oneself? Because one can claim, I did not stand up for myself in this life becaue of this and that fears. But is this claim vaild? No it is not. First of all, where does this fear come from but Ourselves? Who created this fear in the first place? Us? Why would we do such a thing? To never realize who we really are. Yes it was us that created fear, and we all collectively did the same, so we could claim an excuse to not have to do that which is Best for All - To not have to Stop All Separation -- First inside ourselves and then Outside - as that which is Outside of Self is but a representation of what is Inside.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that fear is real just because I can feel it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that fear is real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I don't know where fear comes from.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to direct my life according to what fears I experience.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I create every experience that I have - thus I created fear.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that I created fear in order to use it as an excuse to not stand up for myself as Who I Really Am and in order not Stand Up For All.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I created fear in order to not have to face myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that fear is but a test.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that self-deception is the cause why fear exists - yet it is an illusion.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear fear despite never having seen one in reality.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that if one sticks to breath - no fear is able to exist - and it only exists when one participates in the illusions of the head as the mind and is not Here breathing effectively.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that utilizing fear as an excuse to take decisions is making the illusion more important than that which is real - thus is not valid.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that I will not be able to claim that I did not change because of fear, as fear is a self created illusion for self to not have to change - and does not in fact have power over me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see that fear is but an indication of 'doors to self' where self has put guards/locked doors as fear so one does not realize self and is able to live in separation from self in self interest -- but if one acts despite the fears one will indeed realize self and act as that which is Best For All.

Buh

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that resistance is but another test/door that self has put to not have to change, and that self has to act despite resistance and fear -- and doing the very thing one resists and fears are Doors to Self.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create fear to not have to stand up for myself - in order to have an excuse to not End Self-Separation and Separation Outside of myself as this world is currently representing of our inner selves.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if all create fears and participate in fears it is ok to use fear as an excuse to not stand up for Self - all the while Fear is an Illusion and an Illusion can never be a valid excuse, even if it is a Collective Illusion - it is not an excuse to not stand up for Self and for All.

When and as I see myself fear - I stop, I breathe.
I realize that fear is an Illusion 
And thus, I commit myself to walk despite any fears I might experience.

When and I see myself using fear as an excuse to not stand up for myself  - I stop and I breathe.
I realize that I created fear in order to remain in self-interest - and that I have to act despite of it, until it is no more - within the realization that fear will not go away just because I know the nature of it as it is a constant test to see who will choose the Illusion over Reality.
And thus I commit myself to always walk despite fear being present, as I know it is an illusion and this is enough for me to not take it into consideration and act despite it being present.