Wednesday, May 5, 2021

Day 195: New Job Fears


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being up to the required level at my new job

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear fucking up at my new job

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not passing the trial period at my new job

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not knowing what to do at my job

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being up to speed at my new job

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I can do my best and then I don't have to worry about anything else

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that the only way is giving it my best, as if I fail then I know I did my best

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing my job for not being good enough

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I didn't have the job in the first place so I don't have to fear losing it as I would be like in the begginning, without a job

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the job being hectic

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that in breath everything is possible

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being good at my job

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I will have to pass the learning curve in order to be good at my job

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being too slow at my job

Whenever I see that I have a fear related to my job, I stop and I breathe. I realise I simply have to do my best and then everything will follow. Thus I focus on practical solutions rather than fearing in my mind.

Monday, May 3, 2021

Day 194: Doubt Not


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being prepared for uni

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I can prepare myself for uni

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not 'getting it' at uni

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I have time to prepare myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being able to understand the subjects at uni

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I can understand everything

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to trust in myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I fear because I have not faced the things I fear

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I can practically face my fears

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to give myself the opportunity to face my fears

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that fears in reality do not exist

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in insecurities

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I am certainty

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that fearing is indeed useless and a limitation

Whenever I see that I doubt myself, I stop and I breathe. I realise that I have to explore that which I doubt and that inevitably I will understand it and be able to apply whatever it is. Thus instead of going into self-doubt I work towards getting to a understanding and solution.

Whenever I see that I fear 'not getting it', I stop and I breathe. I realise that in order to understand something I have to study it - thus I give myself the time to study it.

Sunday, May 2, 2021

Day 193: Patience is Key


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe anything I do is useless

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe there is no point

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to give up

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe eveything is too much

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want results fast

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not have patience

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I can't have everything instantly

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, ralise and understand that things take time to happen

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I have to achieve things fast

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to pace myself 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rush 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that rushing does not serve me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that if I want results fast then I will become frustrated

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I can have patience

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that with patience everything is achievable

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself that if I don't have patience then I will give up before I get results

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that patience is Key

Thursday, April 22, 2021

Day 192: Change the World

I am only one, I am responsible for myself - Sometimes I put on 'the weight of the world' but this is only an excuse to not have to change myself, because apparently 'I have to change the world' - I will never change the world - but I can change myself and affect world change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I have to become a super-being or super-hero of some kind to be able to 'change the world'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to change the world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I am responsible for myself alone

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put on the 'weight of the world' without seeing, realising and understanding that it is merely an excuse to not change myself

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I alone will never change the world

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that if I change I can affect world change

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to take my process of change seriously

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put an emotional charge to 'changing the world' instead of changing myself here as breath

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I come first 'self first'

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I am not alone

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear instead of realizing that fear is an illusion

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let me drift from thing to thing without applying myself effectively

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that with every day that I write I will be stronger and stronger or more aware

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up on myself when I see 'changing the world' as too much, without seeing realizing and understanding that the 'wanting to change the world' is not a valid starting point without first having sorted myself out.

I commit myself to change myself first

Whenever I see I 'want to change the world', I stop and I breathe, I realize it is a distraction to not have to change myself thus I let it go.

Monday, April 19, 2021

Day 191: Back to Blogs


 More than a week later, I am back to write blogs. Excuses, believing I am not good enough, general 'disenchantment with the world' are all not valid, I will push for one blog a day no matter what. After all, 7 years of writing do not get written for themselves.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up on myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to keep quiet

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not support myself in writing

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I have to support myself in writing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am not good enough

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that if I don't push myself to write daily I will not

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to where I am now, instead of seeing that I can move out of it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let the days pass without writing blogs

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disregard the self support and the support of others that my blogs can have

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to value my blogs

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand how much less people will stand up for themselves if I do not stand up for myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge writing a blog as difficult

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that writing daily is an act of awareness and my mind will always come up with excuses to not do it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see the potential I have through writing this blogs - of who I can assist without ever knowing it myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become 'disenchanted with the world' as in 'not being content with what I have' and 'want more' and within this 'want to give up'.

I commit myself to push for one blog a day

I commit myself to remind myself of the importance of writing blogs, for me and others to stand up

I commit myself to remind myself that only excuses will make me  not to write daily and excuses are not valid

I commit myself to remind myself that I have to stand and write daily not only for myself but for others as well

I commit myself to, whenever possible, publish one blog a day for 7 years.

Thursday, April 8, 2021

Day 190: How To Slow Down



If you can read through this maybe it is not for you, if you think you can't, this is for you.

Two things have allowed me to slow down the last few days: Starting to Read the Desteni Articles from the beggining which resulted in/led to = wanting to Understand things and people. 

You see, from reading the articles by Desteni you gain so much insight in how reality works/is changing that then you want to naturally be aware of everything going on around you, here is more:

First came the decision of 'till here no further', where I saw I needed to go and really start from the begining reading the articles by Desteni from the beggining, which I had never done, only ever reading articles here and there, big mistake as there is a saying of 'Read the damn material' - 

From there a newfound curiosity arose, of really appreciating things by Looking into them - Because I found so much cool things in the Articles by Desteni that now I am looking at reality with eyes wide open!

So for instance Before = I would scroll through facebook like a zombie, barely reading and skipping things so fast, taking them for granted As If I already knew with reading a few words what was it all about -- whereas now that I take my time wich each post really wanting to Understand where the being that posted that comes from --hell, even the adverts on Youtube Music that used to annoy me I really hear, hear the voice of the person doing the pitch and what the advert is conveying - if it is a long advert I can skip it as well, I don't have to hear Everything, this is more for the unavoidable ones.

From this, I realized that I thought I had patience but I did not. Because I could not sit and read an article, I could not sit and read a blog, maybe if I was really interested yes - but it is difficult to find gems without really digging the soil/reading through Blogs and Articles, because gifts are for the deserving lol, those that read through. I hope you found a little gem, if not let me try my best in the final sentences. 'If you are not informed you are not in form/you are not in shape and you are weak.' And you can really inform yourself by slowing down and Reading the Damn Material - or is it the other way around? lol - on Desteni.org Articles, there is a spreadsheet too keep track of what you have read and to find the articles in order or by author. Enjoy.

Wednesday, April 7, 2021

Day 189: Lag Behind


 Lag: hang (back) or fall (behind) in movement, progress, development, etc

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare my process to that of others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I should be somewhere that I am not

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to have patience with myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am less for not being where others are

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel shame for not applying myself effectively

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that the past is gone and that I merely have to learn from it to not repeat the same things again

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to be grateful for my past as without it I would not be where I am today

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to be proud of myself for sticking with and not giving up on myself

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to use my past to serve me as the definitive lesson to stand up for myself

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to say: I am grateful for my past for I am here now

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I have to be ashamed of my past

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that being ashamed of my past will only hinder my application in every moment of breath

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to embrace everything of me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that in fact I asked for everything that happened to me in my past, so that I would stand up for myself once and for all