Saturday, December 8, 2018

Day 106: Yes and No and Negotiation

Our life is programmed by yes and no, what we will accept and allow and what we will not accept and allow. At work, with our partner, with everything - what we will say yes to and what we will say no to determines our experience here. For example accepting bad conditions at work or not accepting them may do that the manager at work gives better work conditions. It is the same when educating children, what we say yes or no to determines what the children learns about the world.

At work I have seen how colleagues did not accept bad conditions and then the manager changed the conditions of their contract, so one has to say what one will accept and allow and what not and make change  happen, instead of whining about poor conditions for example.

It all starts with determining for oneself what one will accept and allow and what not, what does one want and what doesn't. For this it is useful to write down the situation one is living and look at the possible outcomes, the possibilities and what can one ask for in situations such as employment.

It is clear that when one says yes to everything then others such as employers may abuse that situation, if one simply accepts all that is imposed then one may not like the position one ends up in.

So for example I would like my work conditions to be improved but if I don't insist on it in fear of being taken out for example then the conditions will not be improved.

So this is what I am going to do, write down what I want and what I don't want and see what is possible to be done. For example a good way of doing it is writing down what one wants in a piece of paper and burn it afterwards.

I have seen colleagues at work have their contracts improved because they simply did not allow bad contracting conditions - and they had their contracts improved. It makes me wonder what can I achieve if I take a stand too. I mean I have to stand up for myself, no one will do it for me. I know I am valuable for the company where I work and I have make myself count, make them value me with better work conditions. And forget about fear.

Every worker has to do it for themselves. Artists and footballers usually have a representative, someone who does the deals with the art buyers/employers and usually they are very hard/tough negotiators as that is their job. Unfortunately I don't have a representative for me but I can become my own negotiator/representative that negotiates my work conditions to the best possible.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being fired if I negotiate my work conditions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having bad conditions imposed if I negotiate my work conditions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear making my boss angry if I negotiate my working conditions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have to please my boss always

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I make a hard stance on my working conditions my employers will become angry

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stand up for myself in the face of my employers.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being promoted if I negotiate my work conditions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear negotiating my work conditions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing my job.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not having money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being able to pay rent and food.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear speaking up to my boss.

Thursday, December 6, 2018

Day 105: Climbing to the Top

It's been a month since I wrote here, I have changed places, new, better flat closer to work which is cool. I find it difficult now from not writing to again write but hey I will push through the resistance.

Two days ago I went indoor climbing and there were also aerials silk dancing classes there and I observed a young woman there, it is difficult to describe what I realized but it reminded me of a Black Mirror episode where beings can live in a mind world and experience them there even if they die or are ill in their physical body. So this young woman was there experiencing herself like, what up? What can be done here? And it reminded of my own potential, like telling myself, what's up? I am here in this reality and I can learn how it works and make the best of it - and improve it so all can live their fullest potential.

And the funny thing is that I know what to do. I don't know about this young woman maybe she feels lost or maybe not but myself I know what I have to do to improve myself and change myself to change my experience here.

So in a way I am privileged, so much so but I have to grasp it, take this potential and make it real. Through application, through living what I see that I can do.

And live it, apply myself everyday so that my mind doesn't take over and I let the days pass without applying myself because then I find it more difficult every time to apply myself and also I don't enjoy that, losing my days without purpose.

Also when indoor climbing I could climb some parts but some other parts I found difficult and couldn't do them, and the instructor told me it would be very boring if I could do them all the first time, which is true.

So one thing to remind myself is to do more activities such as indoor climbing, as going out of my comfort zone, doing other stuff than working or being home makes me realize stuff and face myself. In a way going to do indoor climbing the other day grounded me and made me come in contact with reality again, after a month where I have been slacking off and more distracted by everything that was going on in my life such as changing places.

Lessons learned: Do more activities. Put myself to write even if I resist doing it.

Thanks






Wednesday, October 31, 2018

Day 104: Alcohol and Decisions



What would you do if you tried to keep your friend from driving his motorbike early in the morning of a sunday after a night out, you even tried to keep the keys of the motorbike away form his hands but he insisted, and ultimately got the bike keys and drove it anyway? What would you do and how would you feel if your friend died that day, after driving away drunk? Just like that.

First of all don't blame yourself - cry all you want but don't blame yourself. You tried to stop your friend from driving but there exist a point of self responsibility where you cannot decide for another - you can't tie someone up and decide he or she won't move from the same place until they are sober, you don't have that power, and specially when your friend is bigger and stronger than you, and a bit drunk, you can't play the game of hiding the keys for so long. Of course if you were to knew this would have happened you would have trown the keys of the motorbike into the river or far away - to completely avoid the situation for your friend - but you didn't know better. And next time a friend tries to drive drunk, you should indeed throw the keys to the river no matter what the friend says to you - but you didn't know better and your friend A, probably talked you into you giving him the keys of the motorbike with any and all excuses.

You didn't know better at the time, you did all you could, you already had the good intention of preventing him to drive but even though A might have been a bit drunk, or drunk - he had a point of self responsibility - meaning it was His Responsibility whatever happens to him in what he decides to do, to drive or not to drive in that drunk state. We are all Responsible for ourselves, even when we decide to do drugs or alcohol, we are always responsible. And maybe for all we know it was his time to go and he unconsciously took the decision to go away. Maybe it is for the best that he has parted ways - who knows, he is for sure not finished/dead/done he continued to new paths and know this he is very proud of you and for sure the last thing he would want is for you to carry the burden of his death on your back, first of all it is not a load, he simply changed positions, and second of all He decided it to be that way - by taking the motorbike when he didn't have to, his ticket to heaven - where he is safe and sound.

See, that morning I woke up early and went to the local festivities too, they were closing, it was 6 in the morning and it was about to become a new day, I asked the security guys at the concert place when the sun would go up because I wanted to know when the new day started because I had decided to stop smoking by then, and they told me at around 7 the day would be on. So I wanted patiently for 7 in the morning to come, and smoke some last cigarettes before stopping smoking. While I was at this, not only the day came but A went away. If A didn't go away you might probably never find out about this blog and about the existence of afterlife as I will share with you. And J, remember I would never play or share something I am not sure in this difficult situation you are going through. If I decided to share this with you is because I think it is the best I can do and because A would have liked you to know that he is indeed Fine and on his process in the dimensions. It will take a while for you to understand all the information probably, or maybe not, but know this - He is fine and You have no responsibility in his death - it was his decision.

Ruben

Cheers and a hug

Tuesday, October 30, 2018

Day 103: Jumping to Relationships Too Fast?



The other day I met someone and I immediatlely wanted to have a relationship with her. Hey, that is jumping too fast to conclusions. First of all I don't know this invididual, her life or her mind. For me to desire such as thing I should know where the F I am putting myself into.

This happened to me before, go head over heels for someone and then not being in the best possible relationship for me and ultimately have things not working out and inevitably splittling.

I won't repeat the past. First I will get to know someone, then decide if I want to be in a relationship with her or not. So I will apply practically the phrase 'be careful what you wish for' as I don't know what a relationsip with that person involves.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that as long as I want to be with someone, then it is cool to be with that someone - without assessing compatibility first.

I forgive myself that I Have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that I have to assess many things such as compatibility before embarking in a relationship with someone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be in a relationship with x before investigating if it is the best option for me by getting to know her first.

I forgive mysefl that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to have a relationship with x instead of accepting friendship first.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that wanting to go into a relaionship with another one from moment 0 is a mistake, as I don't know the person I am dealing with or her mind.

I forgive myself that I have acepted and allowed myself to be careless in what I wish for as in wanting a relationship with someone I don't know yet.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being rejected by x the immediate moment I wanted to have a relationship with her, thus conditioning my interaction with her - instead of not desiring to have a relationship with her that would make the interaction easier.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want x to accept me in a relationship and fear she won't do so instead of investigating if a relationsihp it is really worth it.

I commit myself to remind myself that I first have to get to know someone before deciding to have a relationship with her.

I commit myself to not jump to conlclusions too fast by wanting to be in a relationship with someone I just met.

I commit myself to not let the desire to have a relationship with someone cloud my judgement or my interaction with her.

I commit myself to let go of the desires of wanting to be with someone and instead look at practicality, is it worth it or not?

Thanks


Friday, October 26, 2018

Day 102: The Power of the Community


So today I had to give away my laptop to his rightful owner as it was not mine and he needed it back, so I was about to become laptopless for a while I thought - but I needed a pc to be able to write blogs. So I got into Facebook and asked my Facebook friends for help, and sure thing, more than one and two readily offered their help lending me not one but two laptops they offered me. Right now I am typing thanks to a friend. Thus the power of the community, where we help eachother to the degree that each can. I was laptopless and didn't have the money to buy one at the moment, as I am leaving the place I am living now for a new place, and it is expensive to move places where I live.

So this is a good reminder that we are not alone, that we can help eachoter, be kind to eachother, do unto another as we would like done unto ourselves. When I get back on my feet I will buy myself a laptop and return the laptop that has been given to me.

Whenever you feel like you are alone, remember this, you are not alone, there is people out there, friends that will help you out if you are also ready to help them. In my facbook post I didn't merely ask for a laptop, I offered many rewards for those that wanted to help me out, such as helping them clean their backyard, help clean their home, cut the grass, help them move homes if they are moving, or whatever else I could help them with. There were also more simple rewards like 'A simple thank you' or 'A hug' which were the rewards choosen by the individual that lent me this laptop I am writting on at the moment. Because he didn't NEED anything else, he didn't choose a more demanding reward. So in life it is all about Needs, who needs the most has to be given the most help. Who needs less, commonsensicaly thus, needs less help.

And so the more able have to help the less able, or the more fortunate have to help the less fortunate. Yes, I can say I have been unfortunate in having to move places and also in losing money this past month, where by negligence on my part I had money on me and lost it. I have learnt from this and will never carry more money than I need, but as they say, shit happens.

So this post is more a thank you to all that has helped me, with giving me a tool that everyone should have, a computer, so that I can walk my process and share my process in blogs as well as use computer software that I need.

Thank you

Thursday, October 25, 2018

Day 101: Invest in Those that Invest in You



Listen to your teachers, the Real Life teachers.

Ever had a teacher that believed in yourself? The teacher appears when the student is ready. Don't let pass the teachers that appear in you life, those that support you - Investigate how come they support you and invest back in them. By investing back in them I mean let them help you, do what they propose if it is cool for your life, give them your attention and put in the time to apply the solutions that they propose. 

The teachers says and does, the student listens and does accordingly.

Listen to true teachers though, don't be misguided. A true teacher is him or her that has applied in their life what they teach, so you have the Living Proof that what they teach is real. If you want to learn success, if a successful individual is supporting you, get all the help from them that you can, this means apply what they have applied, realize you don't know many things and at some point you have to follow the guidelines that They have followed to arrive where they have arrived.

Never postpone. What I have told you is the recipe for success. If someone has it and has proven it in their life - do exactly as they did - to succeed as they did. Very Simple Stuff. The only trick is to identify who is really successful and who is not. I would suggest to look at their life, how they live and what they have achieved and achieve in their life.

Life hacks 101

Enjoy





Wednesday, October 24, 2018

Day 100: Attitude Is Everything - Destonians yet Individuals



Attitude: A settled way of thinking or feeling about something.

Attitude is Everything. Why did I get hired at the job I am doing currently? The manager told me he hired me because of my attitude.

Why do you get in life the results and things you have? Because of your attitude, on how you think, feel and thus do and behave accordingly.

You think your life sucks? Your life will suck. You think you can't change? You will not change.

On the other way around, you think and believe you can change, you can change yourself. It is that easy.

But you have to know how: How to change yourself, how to change your life. For this you have to go straight to the source - Who do you Listen to? Who do you look up to? Look up to someone that has that which you want for yourself.

Sometimes if not always we overcomplicate ourselves and our lives but remember it is easier than you think, because we overcomplicate things when we overthink.

Bernard Poolman is the example of what one can do to change the world, I look up to him.  Investigate his work, investigate Desteni.

Few will do this, few will investigate themselves or Desteni.

Why should you listen to me? I am applying the tools of Desteni. I listen to Bernard Poolman. I met Bernard Poolman - yet question everything I say, test it out for youself, try it out for yourself, crossreference it with other Destonians.

Don't trust Destonians just because they are Destonians, they can fuck up too, and I have learned this -- not because someone is Destonian they cannot be misleaded or make mistakes, so make sure you go straight to the source when in doubt. That means listen directly from Desteni - don't take my explanation of it and run with it, although my blogs can help you out, you must go straight to the source and apply yourself, apply the tools from the source directly and test them out!

I am not saying Destonians are unreliable, most of the time you can learn from them, it is only that on the very difficult subjects even Destonians can fuck up and fail - and you should not give up on a difficult point only because a Destonian has failed in that point.

Let's take the example of Business - some Destonians might become proficient at Business and some others might not - and then who will you listen to, a Destonian that says a type of Business doesn't work or to someone who has proven it works? Always crossreference wich means ask here and there, ask reliable sources, go to the source, go to those that have proven something works and ask them directly - not because something has not worked for a specific Destonian means that it cannot work for you.

It is time to stop worshipping Labels, Destonians, non-Destonians etcetera. We are all Individuals in the first place, we can fuck up and we can make things work. I would highly suggest you listen to those that are making their Life work. Ask them what do you have to do to be, become and have what they have become and have.

You have to learn to ask very good questions, or good questions at least.

From me, you if you are Bipolar, you can take the experience that I got from this illness, I know how to deal with my illness so I could help you with that. Say something to me if you need help.

From me, you can learn what Not to do in terms of procrastinating my process - never delay applying yourself.

From me, you can take that Failure in Life is not Worth Living - as I failed many times.

From me, you can take Resilience, Persistance, Not Giving Up, Not Giving In - In all those 10 years since I knew of Desteni I have Never given up on myself yet always, no matter how long of a time, I have always come back to applying myself.

So these are a few things to consider - Don't Give Up, Listen To Those That Have What You Want, and go to the Source of things - Listen straight from the horses mouth, Don't Accept Watered Down Versions of the Desteni Message, go to the official website.

Do not want others to explain to you what the F is Desteni, go directly to the website.

Do not want to know through others if Desteni works in changing yourself and you life, Do it for yourself or stop complaining - Or at most, listen to those whose Life works the way you want your Life to work - See, Facebook is a great place to see how others live and what others have and how they act, how they speak, where do they give likes to what posts, what do they comment, who they are to a degree.

It is time to quantify, speed up our processes, stop listening to those that have failed at What You Want to Do to put Excuses to not Do What You Can do to become the Best Version Of Yourself.

And I will put an example here, I met an individual that happens to be a Destonian that failed at a specific venture I was interested in taking. This individual said the Venture is not worth it, impossible, cannot do it.

Yet when I crossreferenced this information, it turns out that what happened is that this individual did NOT apply themselves to the Necessary Degree to become Successful at this Venture I wanted to take - and I almost gave up on this Venture because I thought  that if that Destonian could not do it, I would not be able to do it either. Not True. As I have said, first of all we are Individuals, with our own processes, fuckups and problems and some will not make it in some Ventures that are Very Difficult, even if they are Destonians. Not All Destonians Will Make it Either. Being a Desonian is not a Sure Fire way to realize yourself. Lets burn the Labels once and for all. We are individuals with individual Responsibility and it is up to EACH to realize themselves, to make it in this one Life.

So I would take it case by case, with anyone, is he worth listening to? What does he/she have in his/her life? Do I want it for my life or not? Then I start selecting Listening Only those that I have crossreferenced that are applying themselves effectively and even then I go to the source Where They Got The Information to be, become what they have become - so I will not tell them to tell Me how to do it, I will ask them - Who Did You Listen to To Become what you have become? And then I will do the same. It is time to stop the phone-game, you know, this game where you sit in a circle and tell a story to the ear of one sitting next to you, that then tells it to the next one and the next one. By the time the story reaches you from the other side of the circle it is NOTHING like the story you told the first person.

So you have to do the same I did if you like anything at all that I am sharing. I did the Desteni Lite Process and I am walking the Desteni I Process Pro. I listen to Desteni and Destonians - but always crossreference it all - specially when things, like what happened with that Venture and the Destonian, when things seem to not work - look for those that made it work, ask another Destonian for example when you see one Destonian talks shit about something that is cool for you/that you want for your life, such as the Venture I was going to take and am taking thanks to what I did, crossreferencing when in doubt. That's it.

Desteni: http://desteni.org
Desteni Lite: http://lite.desteniiprocess.com
Desteni I Process Pro: http://desteniiprocess.com