Day 53: Dreading the Future vs Being Here Directing

Today at work . I work as a waiter - we have a big group of 50 + people coming to eat. Yesterday I was thinking about it, and also thinking about the summer season, where we work intensely for about two - three months and I was taken aback by it,  I dreaded it a bit. I have already worked a summer at this job and I know it is a daily effort to work as a waiter and it is not the low season we are now, where work is low and there is less stress.

The problem is not the work but if I am worried about it the rest of the day it is not cool, having the mind preoccupied with the future. I know I can make a mistake or two, like yesterday that we had many costumers too and I was a bit late to deliver some dishes and they were cold, but overall I did a good job - also I only had to send them to the kitchen again to heat them and that was it.

The solution is when I have too much workload, to ask for help from other waiters that might have less workload in that given moment, or that can simply help me out in a moment, so that the costumers that are assigned to me can have a good experience and not leave the restaurant dissatisfied.

The word that comes up here is Delegate, where I have to learn to delegate tasks to other waiters whenever I have too much tasks to do at once, so that I don't stress but direct the workload effectively so that everything is done and every costumer is happy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to preoccupy myself and worry about the future in my job.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to dread having a lot of costumers at work, in fear that I will fuck up or make mistakes.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being able to attend every costumer that they give me at work if there are a lot, instead of trusting myself to do work to the best of my ability.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fail if I take on a lot of costumers at work, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that I will make it to the best of my ability and then if I fail is OK and I can ask for help when needed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I am not alone at work, and that I can ask for help if I see I have too many costumers at once/to many costumers demanding my attention - so some other waiter can step in and help me out.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having to take on new tables when I have already a substantial workload, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that I can always delegate/ask for help if I can't attend every costumer well.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worry about the high season instead of being here as breath in the realization that I will do my best when the moment arrives, so there is no need to worry at all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear asking for help, in fear that I will be rejected or seen as less than other waiters, instead of seeing realizing and understanding that it is the way to go to have the costumers well attended  - to ask for help whenever necessary.

Whenever I see I worry about the future in my job, I stop and I breathe. I realize that I will do my best when the moment arrives of working so there is no need to worry or fear.

I commit myself to live the word delegate, to whenever needed ask for help and delegate work to other waiters that can help me out if I find I have too much workload - so I don't 'collapse' and can attend every costumer well.

I commit myself to speak up whenever I have too much workload and I can't attend every table well.

I commit myself to ask for help whenever I see I have too much workload, so that I don't collapse myself and costumers are served well.

I commit myself to remain here as breath and ask for help when I find that I have too much of a workload at work.

I commit myself to work to the best of my ability, so I don't have to worry about work whenever I am not working as I am certain that when I am at work I give it my all.