Day 129: Don't Feed the Demons

Recently I saw the Netflix show by Derren Brown called 'The Push' - it is an experiment to see whether peer pressure can take someone to push someone else to his death.

I will not spoil the end to you but I will only comment on this: For bigger things to be able to develop, first the devil is in the details, in acceptances and allowances. Where we start to give 'terrain' to certain behaviours that then can become bigger.

With this I can see how addictions can get out of hand and it all starts with little indulgences and 'it's not so important if now I do this' kind of reasoning. Yes it is important, all we do is important and what we accept and allow in small-scale can develop into full blown size. So it is best to not plant the seed of whatever it is we don't want to deal with the 'plant' of.

This as a reminder to not give in to little actions as addictions, to not give space to them so they don't develop later into more complicated addictions. And forgive myself if I ever fall into little 'acceptances and allowances' - so they don't go further than that. Because if I don't I might go in my mind, 'well, now that I have done this I might as well do that' with that being a bigger more problematic addiction thing. Not worth it. Best to stop it all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a sip of wine without being here reminding myself that I had decided I would not participate in alcohol anymore.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that what I do in small scale I accept and allow myself to do it in larger scale as well.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take alcohol.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I need alcohol in order to socialize.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I will not be able to remember that I have already stopped alcohol whenever I am presented with the opportunity to take it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being labeled as boring for not taking alcohol.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that boring is being drunk.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I can do many things other than being drunk.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that the time I would spend going out and getting drunk I can instead use to support myself and my projects.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that being drunk is a waste of time and a waste of Life.

I commit myself to utilize the time and resources I would use to go out and get drunk to instead support myself and my projects.

I commit myself to remind myself that I don't take alcohol.

I commit myself to utilize the resources as money that I would use to party to instead invest in myself and my projects.

I commit myself to remind myself that it is best for me to not use alcohol and instead use the resources that I would put into that to support myself instead.