Day 166: Constancy with Medication

 

                                      Crystal structure of lithium carbonate, Li₂CO₃.

My downfall this last manic phase was inconsistency with medication, I stopped Lithium believing that because I already was taking a monthly shot of antipsychotic - all would be well. Well, all was not well because I had a manic phase. What happens is that blood lithim levels fall in matter of days and can cause mania: "Lithium – When abruptly discontinued, people who have been taking lithium to stabilize moods may experience mood instability and a relapse of mania." So this blog is to correct into constancy with medication so that I don't experience relapses of mania anymore.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist taking medication

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to live the word constacy with taking my medication

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take care of myself by neglecting taking lithium

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that discontinuation of medication can be my downfall

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is healthy that I stop lithium - when it is in fact the opposite in my given situation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I will take medication all my life - when I don't know that for a fact

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I in fact need medication 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that it is best that I take medication

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I can do without medication - when it is not in fact so for the moment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I have to have a track record of stability before even considering reducing medication

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I cannot play with chemicals/medication in my body by stopping suddenly as I relapse in mania

I forgive myself  that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to stop taking lithium

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to live the word 'patience' in regards to taking medication

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that if I don't take my medication I will very possibly have a relapse in mania

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I will have much more fun by being stable than being manic 

I commit myself to take my medication in time in full - until advised by the doctor