Day 145: Drugs And Consequence

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel excited about using drugs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to use drugs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to risk having an imbalance by using drugs.

I forgive myself  that I have accepted and allowed myself to use drugs 'to have fun'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate drugs with fun.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to underestimate the power of drugs on my system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disregard any self alarms when it comes to using drugs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not care if I go to the mental hospital or not when using drugs.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see the big risk that is taking drugs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disregard the inner voice that told me to not do drugs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not care about myself when using drugs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately do drugs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the timeloop of doing drugs and having to go to the mental hospital.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to do drugs even if it 'feels right' to do it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if it feels right I can do drugs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like doing drugs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I can do drugs without consequence.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that doing drugs for me is not possible, I have much to lose.

Day 48: The Butterfly Effect

Some are aware of this, but some are not, the extent to which what we share affect others. For me, watching a vlog for example can help me out immensely in a given moment, or reading a blog. So the blogs that we write for example are very important. And the blogs that we don't write also affect, because all of the individuals that could have stood up from us blogging/vlogging changes the moment we decide to write or not, the  moment we decide to vlog or not.

So here is to the excuses we put to not share ourselves in vlogs/blogs - it affects others to levels that we are not even aware, for this I am thankful for everyone that shares themselves and their points and insights in vlogs and blogs because they have helped me to move myself and also I ask for forgiveness for  not having written consistely throughout the years that I have been aware of process, which I don't know the extent of the consequence it has done - yet here I am and I can only work with what is here now, that I am aware that what I do - or don't do - has a very important consequence to others standing up, and them standing up affects even others so there is this butterfly effect/ripple effect that starts by us writing/vlogging/blogging and sharing. Thanks

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to share myself unconditionally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use excuses to not write daily/as often as I am able to.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not blog consistently eventhough I knew of the 'butterfly effect' that it has in others standing up  - or not - due to our blogging/vlogging.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regard my writings as irrelevant, when in fact are very relevant to others standing up with me or not.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to stand absolutely with my blogging.

I forgive myself that I have not accepetd and allowed myself to value my blogging.

Whenever I see that I stop blogging daily, I stop and I breahe. I asses wheter or not I can physically write a blog with the time I have and put myself to blog as soon as possible.

Whenever I see that I don't value my blogging, I stop and I breathe. I remind myself that other people will stand up more because of my blogging so I continue to do it unconditionally.

I commit myself to daily blogging.

I commit myself to do whatever is necessary to write daily/as frequently as I can.