Day 169: Pill Peddler

At times I wonder if there are medications one can get high with. At times it has happened that people asked if I had this or that medication, to get high. Even myself I've tried taking a bunch of my own prescribed and once ended in the hospital with palpitations - not cool. The next time someone asks for my medication I will say it is all to stabilize and one does not get high.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play with medication

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look for some high with taking extra medication

I forgive myself that I have not accepted myself that even if legal they are still drugs

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that mixing alcohol with pills is very dangerous

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to  'get high on my own supply'

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to not be aware of the damage I can inflict upon others that misuse my medication

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand people can die from my medication if taken incorrectly

I commit myself to keep my medication to myself in the future

I forigive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see the dangers of medication

I forigve myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that I am responsible for my medication

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to fill a void by using pills in abuse

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself that I will not always have pills to abuse as at some point they will retire them from me

I forgive myself that I have accepted allowed myself to disregard the potential harm I can do with medication administrated wrongly to myself or others

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see the negative effects it has on my memory the misuse of prescription drugs.

Day 145: Drugs And Consequence

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel excited about using drugs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to use drugs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to risk having an imbalance by using drugs.

I forgive myself  that I have accepted and allowed myself to use drugs 'to have fun'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate drugs with fun.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to underestimate the power of drugs on my system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disregard any self alarms when it comes to using drugs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not care if I go to the mental hospital or not when using drugs.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see the big risk that is taking drugs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disregard the inner voice that told me to not do drugs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not care about myself when using drugs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately do drugs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the timeloop of doing drugs and having to go to the mental hospital.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to do drugs even if it 'feels right' to do it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if it feels right I can do drugs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like doing drugs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I can do drugs without consequence.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that doing drugs for me is not possible, I have much to lose.