Saturday, June 23, 2018

Day 87: Yes or No

Recently I watched the documentary in Netflix Avicii, Real Stories, that is about the life of Tim Bergling. In the documentary it was interesting when another artist said that Tim had very clear what he wanted in music and what he didn't want, because from there they had something to work on. It reminds me of Ferran AdriĆ , a famous cook, trying out food and deciding if he likes it or not in the moment, if he did not like something he'd say it and they would do something different to get to a good flavour/texture whatever they were searching for.

It is a reminder to, in life, choose in every moment what we want and what we don't want, what is good for us and what is not good for us, without hesitation. When one becomes a master in music, in cooking or in life, one has very clearly defined what one wants, or better said, what one will accept and allow and what will not accept and allow. And we all have that internal knowing of what is best for us and what is not, simply that there are the ones that decide to hear it out and those that don't.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disregard my internal knowing of what is best for me when faced with a decision, choosing desire over common sense practicality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I can try and manipulate my decisions but deep down I know what is best for me and what is not.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I can manipulate my decision making into making something that is not best for me acceptable, which is not possible.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that something that is best for me is not always exciting or fun but in the long run it is more fun and exciting.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there is fun to be had in taking decisions that are not best for me.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that what is best for me is truly what is best for me.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that actively doing what is best for me will result in a better me.

I commit myself to remind myself to do what is best for me, and not compromise myself with anything less.

I commit myself to remind myself that doing what is best for me will result in a better me.

Whenever I see I try to manipulate me into choosing something that is not best for me, I stop and I breathe. I realize that I don't have to go against me, and instead choose to honour myself by doing what is best for me.

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