Thursday, July 13, 2017
Day 40: How We Condition Ourselves
For a few days I have been feeling annoyed and I didn't know why, but now I realized it is because I pledged to give money to G for his travel and now I am short of money. Before giving the money to G I thought, if I give the money to G and then I am short of money I will be pissed all month, and this is how I have been feeling lately, pissed. So we literally create our experience because in fact I don't need a lot of money to get by and because I pledged it and G relies on the money I won't withdraw my pledge, but here is to me to do the math and do the numbers porperly before giving money to others - and not program myself to be annoyed if I am short of money afterwards.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pledge money before doing the math of what I need and don't need of money.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to program myself to feel annoyed if I am short of money due to giving money to G.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that 'I will be annoyed if I am short of money' instead of doing the math to see if I will be short of money or not.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an experience of being annoyed instead of preventing the situation it by practically seeing what I need of money and what not.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in annoyingness instead of seeing and finding solutions to my situation.
I commit myself to let go of annoyingness as I see realize and understand I created this situation and I can already take steps to better it instead of feeling bad about it.
I commit myself to remind myself that it is not needed that I feel annoyed as it serves no practical purpose.