Day 23: Inner Creativity

'Birdie' by me

Before I was at the hospital I did not think much of painting or other creative stuff. When I was at the hospital for bipolar I was very closed within me, in a 'manic depression'. Then I started to paint, paitning is cool because is an expression of us and it starts with a blank slate and everything can flow from this, it is infinite the different expressions that can come out, and it is cool to see that everyone's expression is different, because what is on the paper is oneself.

I expanded my painting to music, composing some simple songs that my colleagues at uni liked. Now I know I can put myself to be creative or create because it is me, so there is no need to force it out or I don't need something external to be creative, I simply put myself to do it, be it painting or composing music/lyrics - because I am accessing me

So do explore and find cool stuff in art, it helped me get out of my closedness in depression and it is fun.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I can't be creative/artistic.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I need something external/special in order to be creative.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I can't paint/write music.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that the expression in creativity is me and thus I can access it whenever I want.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not explore myself within creativity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be creative but not put myself to create.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that people that is create have something that I don't have.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that drugs are necessary in order to be creative.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that being a creator encompasses all, from the power to create my life to the power to create a painting or a song, as everything is creation.

Whenever I see that I compare myself with someone that is creative I stop and I breathe, I realize that I am equal to them and I can also access my creative potential.

I commit myself to explore myself within my creative potential as I may find a suprise/gift within it.