Day 193: Patience is Key

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe anything I do is useless

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe there is no point

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to give up

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe eveything is too much

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want results fast

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not have patience

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I can't have everything instantly

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, ralise and understand that things take time to happen

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I have to achieve things fast

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to pace myself 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rush 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that rushing does not serve me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that if I want results fast then I will become frustrated

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I can have patience

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that with patience everything is achievable

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself that if I don't have patience then I will give up before I get results

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that patience is Key

Day 76: Patience With Change

Sometimes I want to change very fast and reality shows me otherwise, that it can take time for change to be implemented. Today I felt somnolence during the day and allowed myself to sleep eventhough I know I should have pushed to do things, but hey it is not to judge me, next time I will do better.

Who says the process of change is linear? Where we simply do it better and better every day? Changing also means 'fucking up' so we can learn from our mistakes, changing doesn't mean that every day we do a bit more without making mistakes. Making mistakes is beneficial because we know what happens if we go that specific rute, if we behave in a particular way.

So we have to have patience with change, because some days will feel like a success but some other days can look like a failure, but if you really look at failure as the mistake to learn from it, then it is not a day lost but used to better self in the process of change. Miss Take, if you Miss a Take you Take another Take Bernard Poolman said.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myelf to want to change immediately.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be effective at everything immediately.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that change will take time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that it will take daily self-discipline to implement change in my life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to get resutls fast when it comes to changing habits.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself if I don't see change, instead of having patience.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to live the word patience to its utmost potential.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that in the process of change it may feel as if I go back at times, I fall back, but it is merely part of the journey onwards.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that progressing/changing only means doing it better day by day, when in fact it can mean fucking up some days/not being effective some days so we know what to do next time in a similar situation/we know what happens if we behave a certain way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go to sleep when I feel somnolence instead of pushing myself to stay awake and do physical things.

Day 34: Patience

When writing a new blog I want to have the topic at the moment and I even want to be finished before I start! This is not how it goes and I have to have patience with myself with finding a topic and with writing the blog.

It is the same with R that is always asking where I go, what I do, how I am, I have to have more patience with her as I react to her when she asks.

And it is the same with studying, have patience with giving me the time to develop a skill.

It seems that having patience is giving time to things in order for them to happen smoothly.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to have patience when writing a blog.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to give me time to write a blog.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to have patience when finding a topic to write.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to give me time to find a topic to write.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to R asking me how I am or what I do.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to have patience with R when interacting with her.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to give me time to interact with R so that she is assured that I am ok.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to have patience to develop the skills necessary when studying.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to give me the time to develop the skills necessary to succeed at my studies.

I commit myself to have patience, to give me time to myself when writing a blog.

I commit myself to have patience with R, to give me time to interact with her.

I commit myself to have patience with myself when studying, to give me time to study.