Day 214: This Opportunity in Matter

I was watching a movie where a horse sacrifies itself to save her owner, by running until it dies of exhaustion, this made me realise we are in matter, then we stop being in matter, the shape and form we are allowed to live for a moment is a gift, what are we going to do while we are in matter is what matters. We cannot possess matter, we are only given this opportunity to be in matter. Why so much fuss? Why so much abuse of Earth while we are made out of the same substance a horse is made of, a rock is made of, a flower is made of? 

Instead we should, as soon as we arrive an take shape in matter, honour it by doing what is best for all living and the Earth, this is what matters and the opportunity we have.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that all living and non living things are made out of the same substance, we can call dust.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lose myself in energy instead of seeing realising and understanding that I am matter like all other things.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that no matter what I do, I still am matter.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from matter by participating in energy as thoughts, feelings and emotions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that no matter what happens to me, I am still matter while I am still here if I become one and equal with it

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see the opportunity that I have by being in matter of becoming one and equal with it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget that I am matter

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that the utmost purpose is to do what is Best for All

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that unless I become one and equal with matter I will have missed the point of being in matter.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I can in fact by right of being born in matter become one and equal with it

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to honour all life as matter one and equal as myself

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that I am the wind, I am the sun, I am the earth, I am all that exists

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I am the universe

Day 213: Can't Unsee

 

Once I see something, I can't unsee it, no matter what excuses I might come up with, I already know and am aware of it. Even if I believe I will not have consequence for not acting on what I see, that is not true. For example a personal point that I need to direct, or something I know I have to do, it will be always there until I take action, and if I don't I will only be creating consequence for the delay.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that there is consequence for not taking action on what I see.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I can unsee.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that ignorance is bliss.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that once I see something I am no longer innocent and cannot claim I didn't know.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that taking responsibility for all that is me and all that I can see I can do is the way forward.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that taking action is the only way out of being miserable for not taking action.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I have responsibility the moment I become aware of something.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to act on my awareness - i.e. to do what I know I have to walk.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that unless I act on my awareness, knowledge without aplication is useless.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to hide from my awareness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I can go on without acting on my awareness.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that if I don't act on what I see as awareness I will have a miserable life because I know that I know.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let my life sink into inactivity and stagnation by not acting on my awareness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I should act immediately on my awareness.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that there is no 'time' out there to do things but only the present moment/breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use procrastination and excuses to not act on what I see/my awareness.

I commit myself to act on my awareness, on what I see.

I commit myself to act on my awareness within what is best.

Day 212: Do I Have Time?

Do I have time to dedicate to myself? Do I have time to do what is best for me and for All? When faced with a difficult task, as with anything else, we don't know if we will be able to complete it because death is unpredictable - yet what is sure is the only way to get it done is to start and stick with it until the end.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being able to finish something, then I use it as an excuse to not start it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that time is a created thing that one do to dedicate to something

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that if I don't have time to do something completely, it is still the best option to start it anyway

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to make sure I can finish something before I start it, while this is impossible due to the nature of the physical as unpredictable

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I can die at any moment/day

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see the relation of die/day as any day we can die

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be grateful for every day that I get to live

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to be grateful for every breath that I get to experience and live

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take for granted my days and breaths

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that every day is an opportunity to expand, specify and improve myself

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to explore what is possible to do with this one life that I have been given

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take for granted that there is a tomorrow for myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live as if I have plenty of tomorrows as it is unknown

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to work with the certainty of every breath

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that every breath is an opportunity to either be self honest or not and the implications that this have

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that unless I start living in every moment of breath as if it is the last nothing will change

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I will have a future - using this to not stand up for myself in every breath

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put excuses to not stand up for myself in every breath

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the answers and my saviour are there in some future while all the way it is me that have the answers and can 'save myself'

Day 211: Death is so Final

Today I have been faced with this question: What do you want to be remembered as? If I die now I certainly won't be remembered in how I would like to respond to that question. I see I have been idling for a long time, maybe I didn't have the resources that I have now in the years up to now, but certainly I see overall I can do more. I let go of the past and birth me here in every breath to expand myself to be and become more.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being able to do more

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for not doing more

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I am wasting my resources

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that my resources are time and money and life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that unless I push myself no one will do it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I am not in control of how much time I have left

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am in control

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not opening up to the world in time until it is too late

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not allow myself to live

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I am here for a limited time only

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live as if I will live forever and as if everything is fine

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to leave things to chance

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not direct myself to change

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to remove the meaning from the word change in believing is something to attain while in fact it is a constant

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I will always change, the direction of the change though is what I have to direct

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that time is, in fact, running out

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand how life is passing me by

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe there is nothing I want to do

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I will not live forever

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that unless I improve myself, no one will improve me for myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear perfection

Day 210: Blank

I the past I have pushed myself too hard and then I tend to give up on myself for a while afterwards, because I didn't want it to happen I simply put a 'blank' title and jumped straight to the following general self forgiveness. The point is to walk a little bit each day and not to spill out big realisations because then I tend to withdraw, so I try to keep it simple and consistent rather than big and eventual.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not give space to myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing myself if I apply myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I am Life as who I really am

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear pushing myself too far in my process

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see realise and understand that when I think it is too much, I can still do more and I am still here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I push myself to hard I will give up

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up in the past because of pushing myself too hard

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I can write daily

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to write daily to prove anything to others instead of doing it for myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I have to live for others

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that when I live for myself, others will start to notice

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that if I live for others no one will live for me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I am not my thoughts, feelings and emotions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that if I don't give myself a chance to walk this process, it will never be done for me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that only if I give up on myself I will not make it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to