Day 232: The Apex

What is my highest point? My apex. That for which I strive? It used to be so high that I felt miserable. Instead the apex is right here in every moment, it is what is Here. There is nothing else, the future is not yet here, and the past is not longer here.

What it means to be Here? Everyone has to find out.

Certainly, it is not being in the past or the future - aka in the mind.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that the apex is Here in every moment of breath, being here in every moment of breath - as there is nothing else.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to torture myself because apparently I should be somewhere else than where I am in the moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I must achieve something.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am in a bad position.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I am exactly where I need to be and if I am not, I should do something about it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be living in the mind as past and future, constantly worrying about both.

I commit myself to be Here in every moment of breath.

I commit myself to remind myself that there is no greater apex than every moment of breath Here.

I commit myself to remind myself that the apex of my life is in every moment of breath.

I commit myself to see, realise and understand that there is no greater summit than every moment of breath Here

I commit myself to remind myself that there is nothing else to achieve than being Here in every moment of breath, and direct myself within what is Best for All within this breath.

I commit myself to remind myself that if I am not located elsewhere is because I need to be where I am because practically I have placed myself in this poisition - so it is up to me to place myself elsewhere.

I commit myself to remind myself that thinking I should be elsewhere is madness

Day 231: The Fraud

I changed the title of the blog several times now, so I will leave it empty for now and write the blog instead. My experience is that in a way, I feel like fraud, a degree of inadequacy, because I believe I have not yet achieved, attained. Then I remember that this is a process. I am in a process, so to beat me up because I have not arrived somewhere is nonsense. What I would like is that I am able to always act in word, deed and thought as what is Best for all - it is a process. Because I see that I don't always act in word, deed and thought as what is Best for All - this is the reason I feel like a fraud. I would like my mind to be empty, I have to empty it. I would like my words to be clear, I have to make them clear, I would like to give myself direction in a way that is Best, so I have to give myself direction in a way that is Best.

I stop wanting others to do what I know I can do. I stop wanting outside change, when inner change is possible - and the only way. It is astounding how well I know - and I say it because I have observed it over the years not because I am flaunting - how well I know what to do. I know exactly what to do. The fraud would be, the fraud can only be self-fraud, where I don't do what I know that I have to do and present myself as if I have done the work. This is impossible because as long as I don't do the work  - on myself - I will be reminded daily by my day to day living that I have not changed and thus why I feel like a fraud.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that the moment that I see my own deception as so big that I cannot stand it, then I will start to walk my process effectively.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that the bridge between where I am and where I could be will be so great that I will have no option other than to walk through the bridge.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that there is nowhere to hide from my own realisations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect myself in my process of change

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to choose the old over the new

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to choose not changing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that change is a decision away

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I have to make steps, even if they are babysteps towards where I know I must go and do

I commit myself to go easy on myself yet firm, in walking what I know I can walk

I commit myself to redeem myself by knowing what I have always known I have to walk

I commit myself to step into the unknown of always acting in word, deed and thought as what is Best for All

I commit myself to not only stop the old, but create the new

I commit myself to remind myself that it is not only about not doing and becoming a saint, but about doing practically what is best for me within what is best for All

Day 230: Missing the Point

In trying to be successful, I have been a failure - I was missing the point. It is to not expect results that results come. I had to finally let go, after being very deep in failure, to let go of this wanting to be successful that a form of functionality has appeared in my life, by simply doing, and not expecting anything because nothing is guaranteed in this world, even if you put your best effort. Not saying that it is   to not put the best effort, but not to expect the result. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have to be known

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I have to become known in order for me to be a success

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want my life to be a certain way to believe that I have achieved something when it is not so in fact

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I have to be successful

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be successful

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that fame and money is the goal

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect to change the world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect of me to change the world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put the burden of the world on my shoulders to which I invariably would quit

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget living

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that any expectation makes me miss the point

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the arrogance to believe that if I become successful I can change the world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have to become successful in order to change the world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage myself from being successful in order to not have to change the world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that being ordinary, in this world yet not of this world, is the way

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that there are no conditions to self realize

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I don't know how I am going to assist in changing the world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try to change the world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect self-change

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand the common sense of walking the tools to change myself instead of half-assedly applying the tools and expect to change myself

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see the common sense in doing to get things done

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not walk my process effectively within the common sense realization that I can change myself if I give myself the opportunity

Day 229: I Need a Break

 From TV, eventhough I don't have, or propaganda in general. The world nowadays is full of lies in the media, full-scale hypnotism to get ourselves trapped in thinking what is the next enemy. Corona, war - what is next?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get trapped in the media propaganda 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe there is a threat or an enemy

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that there is no enemy

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that the pointing finger to the enemy Is the enemy, if ever has to be one

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in fear

Now that I got this out of the way, because really it is simply a small - yet seemingly big - obstacle I will change to talk about creation, what is the world that we want to have and leave for the children to come?

We have to be clear here, a nation that is free from war, poverty, abuse in general is a prosper and proper nation. It is simply to achieve this with introducing a system whereas everyone is supported from birth until death, with a form of a basic income. This was early shared by Bernard Poolman, an Equal Money System, where life is the value, where life is valued and taken care of, at the individual level everyone has food, shelter, education and a standard of life that would be and can be akin to one of a millionaire - not billionaire -.

This is possible due to the high levels of automation we have nowadays, with our food production levels being able to feed already the whole of the world, a mere implementation of proper distribution would make this possible. And the production of goods, which would change to make products to last as much as tecnically possible, that is a liftime or more for any products produced.

I am not talking utopia, because what we have right now is a very high level of mass production which is used to produce things that break, and we live in a resource-finite planet - so it doesn't make sense.

We need a break form all of this, and this is only possible through an Equal Money System.

Day 228: I am sorry

I wrote this blog about a month ago or more but I haven't had the courage to post it until now, it is about how we can direct our reality before it is too late - death -, and the only solution I realize now is self forgiveness and self change. Here it is:

I am sorry because that is the only thing I can say, and from here corect myself. This life could be heaven for everyone, we simply have to admit to our wrongdoings and inactions and correct ourselves. 

For example myself, I've participated so much in time wasting and otherwise bullshit activities where I could be supporting myself to become the best version of myself.

Today I have had multiple dreams, when I would wake up, I was again dreaming, then I would do something in the dream to check if I was in reality, and my test would test that it was reality but then - boom - I would wake up in my bed again. This made me think that all I can say is sorry. 

Sorry because I can change, we can change and yet mostly I've not been doing so, and then change the outside as well.

Because one day we will die, and wake up like in a dream, but we will not be able to go back Here in Matter. So I say I am sorry, that I will no longer procrastinate and leave things to chance, that I will direct my reality to a reality that is Best for All, this is a shared reality, not my reality inside my mind, no, we are all in the same reality, as we will have what we directly and indirectly create.

Because if like a dream, this life, this reality is able to be directed to a point that is Best for everyone - if we don't do it it will continue to be hell on Earth.

If you realize that you want to say sorry as well, because you see that this life, in this life, there are no external forces that control you, only if you allow it. All comes from within - In some dreams you can direct what to do, in this reality on Earth it is the same, you can decide. 

Why I say I am sorry? Because I can do so much. Because I allowed so much, I allowed my participation in so much bull shit. While I could have participated in so much else that creates change for the better. And from here I in this moment commit myself to stop all bullshit and start creation as what is Best for All.

This reality is a 3D reality, there is limitation, yes, but it is not unlike a dream in terms of directiveness, as in in some dreams, you can direct reality, inner and outer reality.

So I am sorry because I am not alone and powerless, I have and have had much support over the years to change myself and I have put one percent of effort on my part. 

But it is not to cry over spilled milk, no, but to correct myself is the next step. Correct myself in every moment of breath. It is a process.