Day 172: All One

 At times it feels like I am alone - today for instance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am alone

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I am not alone

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that alone means All One

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that the feeling of aloneness is not real

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand how, in fact each one comes here alone and goes alone

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see the powerfulness of being alone

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see myself as my self-creator

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I have to learn to be ok alone

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand the usefulness of being alone

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that each one is, in fact, alone - yet together

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I am fine even if I am alone

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that when I am alone then it shows who I really am

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see the beauty in being alone 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that I am ok even if I am alone

When and as I feel like I am alone, I stop and I breathe, I remind myself that I am fine and focus on directing myself within the principle of what is Best for All

Day 19: Just What The Doctor Ordered

If you want to shrink something,
you must first allow it to expand.
If you want to get rid of something,
you must first allow it to flourish.

Lao Tzu - Tao Te Ching

When I was hypomaniac the doctor insisted so much that I take medication or I could go more into mania, however I did not have the experience of that and I did not believe completely what he was saying and because I felt good I did not see the need to take medication. I did not take medication and I went into mania a short time later. You can read more about mania and hypomania here and here.

What this means is that as my psychiatrist says, experience is nontransferable, so maybe this is why we are so fucked up in this world, maybe existentially we wanted to live self interest because it felt good and now we are seeing the results of living self interest which is a world which half of it starves and the elite lives in greed.

If you want to shrink something, you must allow it to expand. If you want to get rid of something, you must allow it to flourish. What does it mean? We have lived already self interest and now individual people's life will start to crash and fail and we will wonder why - time to wake up - live the principle of What is Best for All to truly evolve as species. Investigate Desteni. Walk the Desteni Lite Process.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in self interest disregarding what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disregard the fact of the state of the world where half of it starves and want to continue living self-interest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that living self interest I will attain something of value - whereas I cannot take with me my possessions in the afterlife.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be possessed by my possessions and live to lead a consumerism lifestyle, from objects to sex to power.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deviate from living the principle of what is best for all to lead the consumerism lifestyle, in self interest, disregarding life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that living self interest will have no consequences, where there is ample evidence of what living self interest leads to as this world where half of it starves.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be 'tempted' to live self interest instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that self interest is not the system I would want to leave here for children to come.

Whenever I see that I want to live self interest and disregard what is best for all, I stop and I breathe. I realize that what i Best for All is best for me, it includes what is best for me so I let go of self interest because self interest is a game of win and lose where I will inevitably lose, in life and/or death.

I commit myself of letting go of self interest, as I realize the real 'self interest' is to do what is Best for All and the other 'self interest' as it exists in this world is merely a competition casino game where one will inevitably lose.

Day 17: Managing money

In the past I had been uncareful with money, specially with bipolar, when I was in a hypomanic stage, I did not plan carefully what to do with money and instead spent it or lent it to close people without thinking too much, this caused problems where I basically went broke.

You can read more about hypomania here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be uncareful with money while on hypomania.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give money away without thinking the alternatives or what can be done to not spend so much money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust other people with money instead of seeing, realizing or understanding that when it comes to money it is better to not trust people with it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to buy unnecessary stuff while on hypomania.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create negative consequence for M in my uncaring dealings with money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can buy stuff just because it feels good to do so - without looking at the budget.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to buy stuff because it feels good.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to mismanage money to the point of having to ask for money from R

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to mismanage money to the point of going broke.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust with money to the point of going broke.

Whenever I see I want to trust people with money, I stop and I breathe. I look for another way so that I don't have to trust people with money, as there is most of the time another way.

I commit myself to remind myself that I cannot trust people with money as most of the time it will end badly.

Whenever I see I feel good and want to spend money, I stop and I breathe. I realize that if I am in hypomania I have to be extra careful with money as I have the tendency to overspend because I feel good.

I commit myself to spend money with budgeting and disregard if I feel good or not.

Whenever I see I want to lend money to someone, I stop and I breahte, I realize that I have to stand on my own two feet and other people too and that I can't be lending money specially seeing how it has been abused even by close people.

I commit myself to look for other ways when close people ask me for money and see if they really need it.

Day 13: Speaking up

"The power of intuitive understanding will protect you from harm until the end of your days." - Lao Tzu

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to stand up for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear of what might happen if I refuse to keep quiet.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let fear control my actions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself because of others fears.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to consider other's reasons and fears as to why I should stop blogging.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I have to trust common sense and see what serves well the equality equation as what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself that only someone uninformed would recommend against blogging, as I have seen how it is supportive for me and others on a deep level.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize the impact that blogging can have on other people's lives and that it is of utmost importance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to censor myself because of others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will change how I blog because of others reading it.

I commit myself to do what is best for all - which includes what is best for me.

 Whenever I see that I fear to stand up for myself, I stop and I breathe. I realize that nothing can happen to me, that I am safe.

I commit myself to stand up for myself no matter what.

Whenever I see that I have fear I stop and I breathe. I stop the fear and don't allow it to control my actions.

I commit myself to stop fear from determining my actions.

Whenever I am exposed to someone else's fears and reasons why I should stop blogging, I stop and I breathe. I remind myself that blogging is good for me and for others, good for all - so I let go of wanting to please others, being recognised, and thus I do what is best.

I commit myself to always do what is best for all.

I commit myself to remind myself of the importance of blogging, as the power it has in changing people's lives, and thus the world.

Day 12: Unexpected Expected

 “When two great forces oppose each other, the victory will go to the one that knows how to yield.” - Lao Tzu

Where I am living they don't like Desteni and threatened me to kick me out if I continue - they found this blog - Thus why it is set to private. Update: It is set to public and it will remain so.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being kicked off where I stay.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being in the streets.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having no support.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to live the word self-support.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to work with care at work, living care.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that who I am is untouchable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear friction with my co-living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear they will not attend reason when discussing Desteni.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want my co-living to like Desteni.

Whenever I see I fear being kicked out of where I am, I stop and I breathe. I realize that I have to do what it takes to not be in dire straits and at the same time I have to direct things as they come, no use of fearing things.

I commit myself to remind myself that I can direct myself no matter the situation.

Whenever I see that I fear being 'on the streets', I stop and I breathe. I realise that every day I am on the streets, going to uni or to work or simply passing by and I don't have to fear it, simply take the necessary steps to have support to have a good living environment.

Whenever I see that I fear having no support, I stop and I breathe. I realize that I am self-support.

Whenever I see I am not working with care at work, I stop and I breathe. I realize that my work requires care, so

I commit myself to live the word care

Whenever I see I fear friction with my co-living, I stop and I breathe. I realize that it is not to fear communication as communication is the only way to understand each other.

I commit myself to stick to communication whenever I fear friction with my co-living.

Whenefer I see I want my co-living to like Desteni, I stop and I breathe. I realize that I can't change people I can only explain.

I commit myself to stick to explaining if they want to hear, instead of wanting them to change.

Whenever I see I participate in fear, I stop and I breathe. I realize that fear is an illusion, so I forgive myself for participating in an illusion and let go of it.

I commit myself to forgive myself and let go of all my fears as they arise or I detect them in the past.

The Desteni of Living – My Declaration of Principle

I commit myself to live by the following principles, to apply them practically. Some of them I am already applying and some I have to apply or apply more.

1. Realising and living my utmost potential
2. Living by the principle of what is best for all – guiding me in thought, word and deed to always in all ways direct problems to the best possible outcome for all
3. Living by the principle of self honesty – to ensure I am pure in thought, word and deed: that my within and without is equal and one. Who I am within is who I am without and vice-versa
4. Self Purification through Writing, Self Forgiveness and Self Application – the action of realising I am responsible for my own thoughts, words and deeds, to forgive myself for transgressions and change myself to ensure I take responsibility for who, what and how I am and through this know that I can trust myself to always be honest with me and so others
5. Living the principle of Self Responsibility – realising only I am responsible for what I accept and allow inside of me, my relationships and my outside world and so with this responsibility: only I have the power and ability to change that which I see is compromising who I am, what I live and how this affects others
6. Realising that who I am in thought, word and deed affects not only myself – but others as well and so with Self Responsibility in thought, word and deed – I take responsibility for myself and so my relationships to be Self Aware in every moment  and live in such a way that is best for me and so others as well
7. Living the Principle of Self Awareness – to be aware, to see, to recognize my own thoughts and Mind, to be self honest to the extent where I can take responsibility for when I see my thoughts / Mind is not what is best for me / others and commit to immediately take responsibility and change for myself and so for others
8. With taking responsibility for myself, becoming aware of myself – take responsibility and become aware of others in my life, to assist and support them as I am assisting and supporting myself – to give as you would like to receive and do the extra bit every day to see where I can contribute to other’s lives and so my own
9. Living the principle of self trust – as I commit myself to remain constant in my living of self honesty, self responsibility and self awareness, I stand as an unbending trust that I always in all ways know who I am no matter what I face and that in this I know, as proven in the constancy of my living that I will always honour and stand by what is best for all and so best for me
10. Making Love Visible – through me not accepting/allowing anything less than my utmost potential, I support those in my life to reach their utmost potential, to love them as I have shown love to myself by gifting to me my utmost potential, the best life/living experience and show others as I have shown myself what is means to LIVE
11. No one can save you, save yourself – the realisation that the tools and principles of Desteni is the guide, but I must walk the path myself. We are here to assist and support each other in this process from Consciousness to Awareness/LIFE and what it means to live – but the process itself, where you are alone with yourself in your own Mind: is walked alone
12. Not waiting for anything or anyone to take responsibility for me and this world – but that I realise I have created who and how I am in this moment, therefore I have the responsibility to change who and how I am and so the realisation that we as a collective created how and what this world is today and so it is the responsibility of the collective to change how and what this world is today
13. Honouring the life in each person, animal – everything from the great to the small of earth, that we expand our awareness and responsibility to creating the best possible life for everyone and everything and so ourselves
14. Relationships as Agreements: individuals coming together using agreements as a platform to one-on-one expand, grow and develop as individuals in life and living to support/assist each other unconditionally to reach their utmost potential where the agreement is a coming together of individuals understanding what it means to stand as equals and to stand as one
15. Sex as Self Expression – where sex is an united expression between individuals in honour, respect, consideration and regard of each other as equals, two physical bodies uniting in equality and oneness – a merging of two equals as one physically.
16. Realising that by the virtue of me being in this world – my responsibility does not only extend to my own Mind / my own Life, but to the minds and lives of everything and everyone of this earth and so my commitment is to extend this awareness to all of humanity to work together and live together to make this world heaven on earth for ourselves and the generations to come
17. I must in my thoughts, words and deeds – but most importantly in my living actions, become a living example for others in my world that is noticeable and visible when it comes to the potential of a person to change themselves and so change their world. So that more people can realise how we can change this world, by standing united in our self change within the principle of what is best for all to bring heaven to earth
18. I am the change I want to see in me and my world – to bring heaven to earth is to bring into being, into living the LIVING PROOF of a PRACTICAL HEAVEN that can be seen and heard in our actions and words. We are the Living Heaven that must come into creation in this living world.
19. Through purifying my thoughts, words and deeds – my inner becomes my outer, so I bring into creation me as heaven into earth, realising it is not enough to ‘see the change / be the change’ – for change to become REAL it must be a constant, consistent living of me through the words I speak and the actions I live visible and noticeable to all in every moment of breath
20. Realising that my physical body is my temple – my physical body is the living flesh through which and in which I will bring into being and create / manifest heaven on earth as me in my thoughts, words and deeds and so I honour, respect and regard – nurture and support my physical body as I would nurture and support me as equals: my body is me
21. We are the change in ourselves and this world we have been waiting for: and so I commit to dedicate myself and my life for each one as all to realise this, as nothing will change if we don’t change in all that we are, within and without
22. The realisation that for me to be able to change myself in thought, word and deed to the most effective living being that I can be and become – I first have to ‘know thyself’ and so commit myself to investigate, introspect and understand how I became who I am today, to prepare the road before me into self creation of a responsible, aware, self honest and trustworthy person for myself and so for all
23. The realisation that for me to be able to contribute to change in this world – I have to get to ‘know thyself’ as this world and so commit myself to research, investigate and introspect the inner and outer workings of this world and align the systems of today to present and give the best possible life for all on Earth.