Day 18: Taking the shortest route

Today I dreamed that I was on top of a castell which is a human tower and I was falling along with another man, from very high, while going down I could grasp to a balcony but the fat man I was falling with clinged to me and we continued falling together. I was angry at the man and told him I would put him facing to the floor first and me on top so I don't get hurt because I was angry he did not allow me to cling to the balcony and this way not fall to the floor. Finally we fell to the floor and nothing happened, it was painless. After that I was still angry with the man and argued he could have let me cling to the balcony and go down through that building although that would have meant more time as the building was full of people watching the human tower.

The man was the whole trip down laughing or grinning.

So this is to see that I have to take the shortest route to my goals even if it is scary or seems impossible. And I have to laugh all the way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not walk the shortest route to my goals because I find some of them scary.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not walk the shortest route to my goals that seem impossible.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to walk despite something being seemingly impossible.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that impossible means 'I'm possible' - so nothing is impossible.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to the solution that is shortest.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I have to go where there is resistance as it is the shortest route, whereas the easy route is the longest or infinite route.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that once I have the task done I will see that it was not painful at all - although there might have been a lot of resistance and maybe fear too.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take the easy route instead of seeing that the shortest is the one I resist.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that since we are in a space-time reality it very much favours me to take the easy route as then I can accomplish more goals in my lifetime.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not walk the common sense I see of the shortest route available.

Whenever I see I am not walking a path because it seems impossible, I stop and I breathe. I realize that whatever seems impossible at one point and be possible the next moment, so I walk regardless of what I think of the point.

I commit myself to walk regardless of what I think of a point being possible or impossible.

Day 17: Managing money

In the past I had been uncareful with money, specially with bipolar, when I was in a hypomanic stage, I did not plan carefully what to do with money and instead spent it or lent it to close people without thinking too much, this caused problems where I basically went broke.

You can read more about hypomania here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be uncareful with money while on hypomania.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give money away without thinking the alternatives or what can be done to not spend so much money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust other people with money instead of seeing, realizing or understanding that when it comes to money it is better to not trust people with it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to buy unnecessary stuff while on hypomania.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create negative consequence for M in my uncaring dealings with money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can buy stuff just because it feels good to do so - without looking at the budget.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to buy stuff because it feels good.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to mismanage money to the point of having to ask for money from R

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to mismanage money to the point of going broke.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust with money to the point of going broke.

Whenever I see I want to trust people with money, I stop and I breathe. I look for another way so that I don't have to trust people with money, as there is most of the time another way.

I commit myself to remind myself that I cannot trust people with money as most of the time it will end badly.

Whenever I see I feel good and want to spend money, I stop and I breathe. I realize that if I am in hypomania I have to be extra careful with money as I have the tendency to overspend because I feel good.

I commit myself to spend money with budgeting and disregard if I feel good or not.

Whenever I see I want to lend money to someone, I stop and I breahte, I realize that I have to stand on my own two feet and other people too and that I can't be lending money specially seeing how it has been abused even by close people.

I commit myself to look for other ways when close people ask me for money and see if they really need it.

Day 16: Are you slow?

Yesterday I was chatting with the workers of the restaurant next to ours and one guy asked me, are you a bit slow? And I said, no. And he said he's seen me a bit slow but I explained that it was because there was not a lot of work at the particular moment he saw me.

This guy unknowingly was challenging a point I had walked in self forgiveness where I was working at a slow pace to 'preserve energy' but now I changed it to go 'full on' as the body does not need to hold back and can simply go for it and be rejuvenated in doing physical activity.

This guy then said 'oh I had a bad preconceived idea about you' and talked to the others if they could hire me - lol - as they have a lot of work.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to work slowly to preserve energy instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that the physical body is cool with going for it and doing physical activities, not holding back or preserving the body as it is not how it works.

You can read more about preserving energy not being necessary but unadvised where I learnt about it in the blog post by Leila Zamora Moreno 'Conserving Energy is Exhausting'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am doing myself and my body a favour by working in a 'chill out manner' not seeing that I was being incompetent in my job and feeding my mind instead of being here in my body working the best I can.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to be here in my physical body doing the physical activities as efficient and fast as I can within common sense.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to unlock my potential as what I can do with my physical body as physical work within the belief that I have to preserve energy of my body.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that what I do at work of applying myself to do my best with my physical body, I can also do outside of work.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear others calling me slow as the bad consequences it can have ultimately being fired from my job if this persists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go fast at my job in fear they will find me slow and fire me, instead of going fast as an expression of me of being fast and efficient.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and  understand that whenever I try to preserve energy I am making myself more dull and whenever I don't try to preserve energy I am more rejuvenated.

I commit myself to remind myself to not try to preserve energy and 'going for it' at the job as it is the best I can do for me and the job.

Whenever I see I am moving in fear of being fired, I stop and I breathe. I realize that I don't need fear to spear me to go fast but that I can simply apply myself to move efficiently and fast as an expression of me.

I commit myself to check whenever I am going fast if there is a fear that they will fire me if I go slower, to remove the fear and then continue going at the pace that it is best, not faster in fear but the right pace that is best for the job.

I commit myself to remind myself to slow down within going fast whenever I see that I am going too fast that I can create negative consequences such as breaking plates or injuring myself.

I commit myself to move at work within common sense and self-responsibility, going faster where I can and being patient where I have to.

Whenever I see that I fear others judging me as slow, I stop and I breathe. I realize that they might have seen me when there was no much work, and that I have to always take self-responsibility and see for myself where I can improve, and explain whenever I am being called slow if it is not so.

I commit myself to stand up for myself and communicate whenever I am being treated or judged unfairly.

Whenever I think that by going slow I am preserving energy, I stop and I breathe. I realize that I rest at sleep and during the day I can go and apply myself physically without holding back as the body can handle physical activity better than I think it can.

Day 15: Sudden Fear

The other day I was at the train going home and suddenly I feared, this fear I could not link to anything future or past or anything in my surroundings. I simply experienced fear.

Yesterday I was waiting tables and I feared going to ask if everything was ok at a specific table, I went despite the fear and asked if everything was ok, and everything was ok. So I have to always disregard fear and do what is best because fear is irrelevant, harmless, is only a mindjob.

See, I was on the train, let's say the train is life, then I experienced fear, but I was still in the train going, then the fear stopped, I was still in the train going. This means that life goes on and fear can't alter or mess with life because it simply pops up and then disappears the same way it came. It will only have an effect if I react and this way allow the fear to have power over me and my life.

Fear is like a scary story for children, unless you believe it you will laugh at it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take into consideration fear when taking decisions.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to always act despite any fears.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see the following: that I was in the train,  I experienced fear, I was still in the train after the fear so fear does nothing.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that fear doesn't have any power over me.

I forgive myself to believe that fear is real because it FEELS like it is real - but it is not - as it does not have any effect or impact on reality unless I decide to act on the fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that because fear is usually linked to something then I have to fear that something, which the truth is that fear is not real and does not say anything of that something that the fear is linked to.

Whenever I see that I fear, I stop and I breathe. I remind myself that fear is not real, and that it will go away the same way it came.

I commit myself to breathe and let go of fear whenever it appears.

I commit myself to remind myself that fear will go away the same way it came in.

Whenever I see that I want to change my relationship with something because I fear that something, I stop and I breathe. I realize that the fear is not real and that I should not change my relationship to anything only because I experience fear related to that thing.

I commit myself to see, realize and understand that fear is not real, even if it is linked to something real.

Whenever I think that fear has power over me, I stop and I breathe. I realize that I am real and cannot accept or allow myself to be controlled by something that is not real, an illusion, such as fear.

Day 14: Being a waiter

A teacher I had at school in my teenager years  found me waiting tables at a restaurant, she asked me, you are a waiter? And I replied with oh no I also go to uni. I attached inferiority to being a waiter as if I am less for waiting tables as a job.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe waiting tables is 'an inferior job'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that being a waiter is being a servant/slave to others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that everyone serves everyone in this life: Parents serve children, teachers serve children, businessmen serve clients etc.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I am simply serving our clients and that it does not mean I am inferior to our clients or other people that do other jobs.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see the gifts in being a waiter as what I can get from it to expand myself.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to judge being a waiter as boring despite proving to myself that when I work I am not bored.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that waiting tables will make me dull when I have met people that have been waiting tables for a very long time that are not dull at all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that waiting tables I can develop skills that are not necessarily 'intellectual' but that does not mean that they are less.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare intellectual skills with practical skills.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see how waiting tables can help me in being grounded here in reality as I have to work with reality/physicality to get the job done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge being a waiter as boring, dull and inferior because being a waiter requires skills that are not easy to develop thus I judged being a waiter so I don't have to put the effort into getting the skills to be good at it virtually giving up before I have started.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up on the opportunity of being a waiter beforehand through judging the job as dull, boring and inferior, in separation form myself - all to not make the effort to learn the necessary skills.

Whenever I see that I judge being a waiter as inferior or dull, or boring I stop and I breathe. I realize that being a good waiter requires practical skills that one cannot learn 'intellectually' but that have to be lived so it is a skill that one has to develop in reality, a real skill and that it does not have to be compared to intellectual skills.

I commit myelf to remind myself that waiting tables require an effort and that I have judged it to not have to do the effort to get the skills necessary to be good at it - so whenever I see I judge being a waiter I stop and see what skill am I resisting to learn/to do effectively to instead do it/learn it and expand  myself.

Whenever I see that I compare being a waiter with being intellectual I stop and I breathe. I realize that I cannot compare knowing a maths formula and serving a client at the restaurant and that one has no more value over the other - furthermore simply knowing a formula will not serve me in this life if it is not applied while serving a costumer is something that adds up into a salary that supports me in this life - while also helping me being grounded in the physical. So waiting tables is a practical application while knowing a maths formula is simply knowledge that without application is useless.

Day 13: Speaking up

"The power of intuitive understanding will protect you from harm until the end of your days." - Lao Tzu

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to stand up for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear of what might happen if I refuse to keep quiet.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let fear control my actions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself because of others fears.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to consider other's reasons and fears as to why I should stop blogging.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I have to trust common sense and see what serves well the equality equation as what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself that only someone uninformed would recommend against blogging, as I have seen how it is supportive for me and others on a deep level.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize the impact that blogging can have on other people's lives and that it is of utmost importance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to censor myself because of others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will change how I blog because of others reading it.

I commit myself to do what is best for all - which includes what is best for me.

 Whenever I see that I fear to stand up for myself, I stop and I breathe. I realize that nothing can happen to me, that I am safe.

I commit myself to stand up for myself no matter what.

Whenever I see that I have fear I stop and I breathe. I stop the fear and don't allow it to control my actions.

I commit myself to stop fear from determining my actions.

Whenever I am exposed to someone else's fears and reasons why I should stop blogging, I stop and I breathe. I remind myself that blogging is good for me and for others, good for all - so I let go of wanting to please others, being recognised, and thus I do what is best.

I commit myself to always do what is best for all.

I commit myself to remind myself of the importance of blogging, as the power it has in changing people's lives, and thus the world.

Day 12: Unexpected Expected

 “When two great forces oppose each other, the victory will go to the one that knows how to yield.” - Lao Tzu

Where I am living they don't like Desteni and threatened me to kick me out if I continue - they found this blog - Thus why it is set to private. Update: It is set to public and it will remain so.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being kicked off where I stay.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being in the streets.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having no support.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to live the word self-support.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to work with care at work, living care.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that who I am is untouchable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear friction with my co-living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear they will not attend reason when discussing Desteni.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want my co-living to like Desteni.

Whenever I see I fear being kicked out of where I am, I stop and I breathe. I realize that I have to do what it takes to not be in dire straits and at the same time I have to direct things as they come, no use of fearing things.

I commit myself to remind myself that I can direct myself no matter the situation.

Whenever I see that I fear being 'on the streets', I stop and I breathe. I realise that every day I am on the streets, going to uni or to work or simply passing by and I don't have to fear it, simply take the necessary steps to have support to have a good living environment.

Whenever I see that I fear having no support, I stop and I breathe. I realize that I am self-support.

Whenever I see I am not working with care at work, I stop and I breathe. I realize that my work requires care, so

I commit myself to live the word care

Whenever I see I fear friction with my co-living, I stop and I breathe. I realize that it is not to fear communication as communication is the only way to understand each other.

I commit myself to stick to communication whenever I fear friction with my co-living.

Whenefer I see I want my co-living to like Desteni, I stop and I breathe. I realize that I can't change people I can only explain.

I commit myself to stick to explaining if they want to hear, instead of wanting them to change.

Whenever I see I participate in fear, I stop and I breathe. I realize that fear is an illusion, so I forgive myself for participating in an illusion and let go of it.

I commit myself to forgive myself and let go of all my fears as they arise or I detect them in the past.

Day 11: Strengths in Problems

Found some gifts in bipolar.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from 'normal' because I have bipolar.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as 'not normal' because I have bipolar.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I am indeed normal, only that I have had periods of instability in my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear others seeing me as 'incapacitated'/'incapable' for being bipolar.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear others will treat me differently for having bipolar.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that I am stronger because of bipolar.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see how difficult times make me stronger.

I commit myself to remind myself that difficult times make me stronger.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I can now face instability with greater effect because I've dealt with very high ups and very deep downs.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I can let go of addictions easily now because I have already experienced what it means to be very high up and how it does not make a difference in who I am in fact - as I have to deal with the same stuff every day.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see how I can stop being afraid of fear as I have walked through utmost fear during manic depression.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to realize that I can let go of fear of of others, as I have walked persecutory delusion and found out that it is not real/no one is 'out to get me'.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I can appreciate more being stable now that I have been very depressed and very euphoric.

I commit myself to remind myself of how simplicity of living and reality, this earth, is what is fascinating and there is nothing to discover/it is no way of living depression or euphoria as they simply are blinds/distortions that don't let us see the beauty of reality.

Day 10: Accepting things as they are at the moment

I am bipolar, well, I have to accept it as how it is at the moment. No use in reacting to it. I 'lost some of my time' in ups and downs - well, this is how it is, no use of reacting to that either. Maybe it all is the price for some gifts.

Today I dreamt I was in a sort of competition to gain attention, they had this bottle of vinegar that they would pass along and they would drink, I picked it up and drank a lot in a showy manner and helped win our team, which was a very good looking guy but that needed an extra push to win. When I was drinking the vinegar I thought well I can drink a lot because there are acids in the stomach as well, and everyone was amazed at how much I drank, but it is funny because it didn't taste of vinegar although it had the colouring of vinegar, it was like water to me.

So this dream is a good illustration having to 'take one for the team' although in the end it is not that bad, I don't care to have bipolar in this life, in this journey to life that I am in and we are all in as well, and it may seem from the exterior that I am suffering because I have bipolar but although I had rough times - and good times - it is not an issue for me, it contributes to assist myself and through that contribute to the bigger picture because being bipolar one can live what it means to participate in the extremes of the mind so it talks a lot about the mind and why it is important to stop it/manage it appropriately. I am doing the DIP Lite Course for that, because I see how I have been deluded by the mind and what happens in the extremes of feel-good and feel-bad and although one don't have to fear it it is not practical,so may as well get rid of it completely and be stable and happy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to having 'lost time' due to being bipolar.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that 'there is a straight path' and if I 'deviate from this straight path' then I am doing it wrong.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see bipolar as a burden instead of as a gift.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that everyone's path to life will be different in what challenges one has to face.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to value enough the experiences I had during bipolar ups and downs - as there may lay some keys to my process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand the importance of the experiences I had during bipolar as what they tell about the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to change when I have a lot of serotonin or when I have less of it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that once one has bipolar's then their life is 'done'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see bipolar's for what it is, temporal imbalance of the chemicals in the brain that can be prevented through medicine and treatment.

Whenever I think I've lost time due to being bipolar, I stop and I breathe. I realize that everyone's  process is different and I don't have to judge mine.

I commit myself to not judge or compare my path to others as there is no use in doing that.

Whenever I see bipolar as a burden instead of a gift, I stop and I breathe. I realize that I can help other bipolars and not bipolars through talking of experiences and insights and that I don't know what more can I do with bipolar yet.

I commit myself to investigate what is possible to do with bipolar.

Day 9: Mania

Mania is a state of abnormally elevated arousal, affect, and energy level, or "a state of heightened overall activation with enhanced affective expression together with lability of affect."^[1] Although mania is often conceived as a "mirror image" to depression, the heightened mood can be either euphoric or irritable; indeed, as the mania intensifies, irritability can be more pronounced and result in violence.

The nosology of the various stages of a manic episode has changed over the decades. The word derives from the Greek μανία (mania), "madness, frenzy"^[2] and the verb μαίνομαι (mainomai), "to be mad, to rage, to be furious".^[3]

The symptoms of mania are the following: heightened mood (either euphoric or irritable); flight of ideas and pressure of speech; and increased energy, decreased need for sleep, and hyperactivity. They are most plainly evident in fully developed hypomanic states; in full-blown mania, however, they undergo progressively severe exacerbations and become more and more obscured by other signs and symptoms, such as delusions and fragmentation of behavior. (...) Mania, however, may be divided into three stages: hypomania, or stage I; acute mania, or stage II; and delirious mania, or stage III. This "staging" of a manic episode is, in particular, very useful from a descriptive and differential diagnostic point of view. (...) 

Because mania and hypomania have also long been associated with creativity and artistic talent,^[8] it is not always the case that the clearly manic bipolar person needs or wants medical help; such persons often either retain sufficient self-control to function normally or are unaware that they have "gone manic" severely enough to be committed or to commit themselves. Manic persons often can be mistaken for being on drugs. - Wikipedia 

Note: Being manic or in a manic episode is not being a maniac as in violent killer as it is portrayed in movies - lol. It is similar to being on drugs for a long time, some may become violent/irritable, some may play all day, some may rant and rave and believe things that are not real. What would you do? Who would you be?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be famous during hypomania and mania.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I was a living fictional character while on mania.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe I had interdimensional abilities during mania - without crossreferencing if that was so.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I had superior powers to change the world by myself during mania.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be embarrassed of my mania experiences.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe everyone was after me during mania.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not apply limits when talking to others/talk too much while on manic and hypomanic episode.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and make things up that are not real during mania - without crossreferencing if they were real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to jump to conclusions of what was real or not - just because I believe something, and it 'feels right' it does not mean it is real -.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I was the center of the world during mania.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a fictional self and world and abilities  during my manic episode - without crossreferencing any of it - and share it with others before making sure it is real, so it was not.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I had extraordinary powers during manic episode, without crossreferencing if it was real.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed msyelf to see that even if others agree and go along with my delusion, it does not mean that it is real. They might be only playing or deluded themselves too.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear others might judge me for having had a manic episode.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that a manic episode is simply believing things that are not real, and it is not something to be ashamed of as 'ordinary people'  do this every day when we believe in fear for example.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fears others believing I am crazy for having had a manic episode.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a mind-reality and try to impose it on the outside while on manic episode.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear others will believe I am unstable for having had a manic episode.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see that being manic is no different than being on drugs so I should try to 'behave' if I ever am on a manic episode again as it is no excuse to say things that are not real because on a deep level there is self awareness and I know something does not add up in my delusions - only that I ignored it in the past and just 'went with the flow'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let myself go with 'what felt good' during manic episode, which was a mess of preaching things that are not real, instead of remaining centered and check before I speak if what I am going to say is real, and if what I think is real or not.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to ignore the inner awareness that something did not add up during my manic episode, delusions did not add up/make sense but instead of questioning them I went along with them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I did not know better and that I don't have to judge myself for having 'gone along' with my manic episode, only to be more aware if there is a next time - and to always be aware no matter what the circumstances.

I forgive myself for 'making an ass out of myself' during my manic episode through making up a story and believing it is real just because it felt good and suited my desires and fed my ego.

Whenever I see that I want to be famous, I stop and I breathe. I realize that I don't need recognition from others, or more sex from being famous, so I let go of this.

I commit myself to let go of my desire to be famous, recognized and desire to have more sex.

Whenever I see that I believe things about me which are extraordinary, I stop and I breathe. I realize that I have to crossreference everything, double check, and make sure, that I have or am something which is not ordinary - before I can talk about it  - because it might be a delusion.

I commit myself to stick to the ordinary living breathing being and not believe I am any delusion - but crossreference any perceptions about who I am to make sure it is not a delusion. I commit myself to stick to breathing and remain grounded no matter what.

Whenever I fear others will judge me for having had a manic episode, I stop and I breathe. I realize that it is irrelevant if others judge me and that I can explan to them if they ask simply what is a manic episode - 'free drugs' from the brain for days - and to ask them what would they do if they 'had free drugs from their brain' and who would they be - as it is not an easy challenge.

I commit myself to stop preoccupying how others will react to knowing I had a manic episode and instead work with what comes up and explain things if required.

Day 8: Discrimination

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being discriminated for being bipolar.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being discriminated in the workplace if they know I am bipolar.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being 'left out' from a group for being bipolar.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to see that people are more understanding than I think they are and mostly don't discriminate against for being bipolar.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being rejected by women for being bipolar.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear women not wanting to have children with me in fear they'll be bipolar.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear others 'looking at me judgmentally' because I am bipolar.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having less opportunities in life because of being bipolar.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that with enough care I can remain stable indefinitely, rendering my bipolar diagnosis irrelevant.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give importance to being bipolar.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as 'being biploar'.

Whenever I think I will be discriminated against for being bipolar, I stop and I breathe. I realize my fear is just a fear and I don't have to listen to it. I might be bipolar but I can be stabilized, so one cancels the other.

I commit myself to remain myself that what matters is to remain stable, not if I am bipolar or not.

Whenever I fear I will be discriminated in the workplace, I stop and I breathe. I remind myself that I have in the past revealed I am bipolar and have had no problems at the workplace.

I commit myself to assess the situation and say or not say that I am bipolar, without listening to the fear.

Whenever I fear that I will be 'left out' I stop and I breathe. I realize that it is me that put myself in a group or not, and that I don't have to give importance to bipolar.

I commit myself to remind myself that being bipolar is irrelevant in my relations with other people/groups.

Whenever I fear I will be rejected by females for being bipolar, I stop and I breathe. I realize that being bipolar is irrelevant and I should not preoccupy myself with that in relation to females.

I commit myself to let go of the worry females won't want to be with me because of being bipolar.

Whenever I see I define myself as 'being bipolar' I stop and I breathe. I remind myself that bipolar is something that happens to me but does not define me/who I am.

Whenever I fear women not wanting to have children with me, I stop and I breathe. I realise that I must be the living example that it is possible to lead a normal life with the bipolar disorder so they see it is not relevant if our children are bipolar or not, just like it is not relevant for me.

I commit myself to remind myself to lead a stable life/have a stable mind so that I am an example of a stable human being with bipolar.

Whenever I fear I will have less opportunities in life because of bipolar, I stop and I breathe. I realize that opportunities are self-created and that I should not fear having less opportunities for being bipolar, furthermore I might get MORE opportunities from having bipolar due to states policy with bipolar subjects, for example in education, and other opportunities I don't yet know.

I commit myself to see bipolar as a gift that can give me more opportunities I didn't have instead of a burden.

I commit myself to see that opportunities are self-created and this applies to me too.

Day 7: Hypo-mania - Part 2

This is a continuation of Day 6: Hypo-mania

Forgiving the positive and negative of hypomania I had while I was not on medication.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to miss the creative potential I had during hypomania.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to take medication as I feel so good 'who would want to take medication'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to miss the 'good things' that come with hypomania.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to have the desinhibition that I had during hypomania.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to have the feeling of 'being the best/being the boss' that I had while under hypomania.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to miss the feeling of 'I am capable of doing anything' that I had during hypomania.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to miss the desinhhibition when talking to females that I had during hypomania.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to miss the feeling of 'everything is possible' that I had under hypomania.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to miss the 'empowerment' feeling I had during hypomania.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in irritability during hypomania.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see how I was less empathic to how others felt towards what I did during hypomania.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see how I was more angry/bellicose at times during hypomania.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to have the easiness of talking to females that happened during hypomania in the desire to have more sex.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I can jump into mania at any time that I  am in hypomania with all the side effects that come with it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to overspend my money while on hypomania.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not do my responsibilities such as studying during hypomania.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stop my responsibilities and act irresponsibly because I 'feel good' during hypomania.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to miss the 'high' of hypomania.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that during hypomania I had no 'stop' I didn't apply limits so in this way I arrived to the point of bothering others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stop myself when it was time to stop during hypomania.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see how I did socially awkward things such as talking to strangers - which is not necessary -.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to talk to strangers because I think it is a good idea to do so.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear 'making a fool of myself' during hypomania.

Whenever I see that I miss hypomania, I stop and I breathe. I realize that all the good things that I see come from hypomania I can develop for myself with the added benefit of not having the side effects of hypomania.

I commit myself to develop self trust, self expression and all the things I like about hypomania for myself.

Whenever I see that I miss hypomania, I stop and I breathe. I remind myself of how delicate is the situation as in the past I was uncareful with my relations, money, responsibilities, plus the possibility of jumping to mania - so I let go of 'wanting to be in hypomania and in control' as I know it is a fight I will most likely fail at.

I commit myself to stop hypomania as soon as it appears so I don't take risks with regards to my stability in this life.

Whenver I see that I miss the feeling of being the best/being the boss I stop and I breathe. I realise that unless I prove it in real-time that I am the best - that I can be - then I am not, and the feeling is a delusion - and if I am the best that I can bee, I will have no feeling to tell me that I am.

I commit myself to crossreference the feelings I have with reality to see if they are delusions.

Whenever I see I don't want to take medication because I feel so good, I stop and I breathe. I commit myself to remind myself of all the side effects that come with hypomania.

I commit myself to take my medication when I am in hypomania, as it is only a delusion that I have already walked.

I realise that all the things I found cool about hypomania I can develop self-responsibly for myself.

Whenever I see that I miss the creative potential I had during hypomania I stop and I breathe. I realise that the creative potential I had during hypomania was not focused/all over the place and that I can instead develop my creative potential and focus it where I want.

I commit myself to develop my creative potential in the areas that matter/where I want, focused.

Day 6: Hypo-mania

Hypomania (literally "under mania" or "less than mania") is a mood state characterized by persistent disinhibition and pervasive elevated (euphoric) with or without irritable mood but generally less severe than full mania. According to DSM-V criteria, hypomania is specifically distinct from mania in that there is no psychosis (sensing things others do not sense in the same environment); mania, by DSM-V definition, has psychotic features. Characteristic behaviors are extremely energetic, talkative, and confident commonly exhibited with a flight of creative ideas. While hypomanic behavior often generates productivity and excitement, it can become troublesome if the subject engages in risky or otherwise inadvisable behaviors. When manic episodes are "staged" according to symptomatic severity and associated features, hypomania constitutes the first stage, or stage I, of the syndrome, wherein the cardinal features (euphoria or heightened irritability, pressure of speech and activity, increased energy and decreased need for sleep, and flight of ideas) are most plainly evident. - Wikipedia

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to enjoy being in hypomania as it 'feels good'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see what is behind the feel good of hypomania, as the ladder to mania that it is.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see all the negative side effects of hypomania such as not considering others, not being careful with money or not being commonsensical with taking decisions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be addicted and not want to let go the feel good/increased energy state of hypomania.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to admit whenever I am hypomaniac.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see the importance of stopping hypomania as from there I can jump easily into mania where delusions start which is not fun.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that the feel good of hypomania is also a delusion.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being in hypomania in fear that I will go into mania.

Whenever I see that I want to remain in the feel good of  hypomania, I stop and I breathe. I realise that the feel good of hypomania is a delusion although it seems real and that I have to stop hypomania to not go up the ladder to mania and because of all the side effects that come with it.

I commit myself to whenever I see I am in hypomania, to speak up and take my treatment so that it stops - unconditionally.

Whenever I see that I don't want to admit/recognise that I am hypomaniac, I stop and I breathe. I remind myself that is ok to be imbalanced, like it is ok to be hungry, they are imbalances - one has to be treated with medication and the other with food - and if not remediated there can be severe consequences.

I commit myself to whenever I have the imbalance of being hypomaniac, to take the steps necessary to stop the imbalance, for example with medication, and additionally other help like therapy, self forgiveness.

Whenever I see that I fear going from hypomania into mania, I stop and I breathe. I realise that if I stop the problem of hypomania there will be no mania phase, so I take the steps necessary to practically stop hypomania as soon as possible when I detect it.

I commit myself to not wait whenever I realize I am in hypomania, but to get the necessary help for it to stop, so that I don't go into mania or let it develop with all the possible side effects/consequences of hypomania.

Day 5: Medication

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as less than others for having to take medication.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that it is fine to have a problem and I should not be ashamed of taking medication for my problem.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive and judge medication as 'bad'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist taking medication in fear that it is harmful to my mind and body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will live less years of life due to taking medication.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear developing a side-effect illness due to taking medication.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear others judging me for taking medication.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed to see that medication is simply a practical point to assist myself and I don't have to judge it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my medication not working if it is generic or if it is damaged.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not having my medication and having an imbalance because of that.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate medication with poison.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge as a 'bummer' to have to take pills during the day.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to have side effects from my medication.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate medication because of being sedated by them in he past.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself that medication is a point of assistance to take when needed and that is it.

Whenever I see that I am resisting taking my medication, I stop and I breathe. I realise that medication is a point of assistance and that I have to take them when I need them, otherwise I go into an imbalance and I don't want that.

I commit myself to take my medication when needed/prescribed because I need it.

Whenever I see that I perceive as a bummer to take the medication, I stop and I breathe. I realise that during the day I have to eat three times (or more) and that taking a pill is like eating, it is eating in fact, and that I have no problem with that.

Whenever I see that I fear my medication not working due to it being generic or being damaged I stop and I breathe. I realise that generics should be as good as brand medication and that I can check the expiring date to see if the medication is 'fresh', also if I start to have an imbalance I don't lose control of myself so I can simply go to my doctor and adjust/change the medication if I have an imbalance while taking the medication.

Whenever I see that I fear others judging me about taking medication, I stop and I breathe. I realise that there is a point where I am judging myself for taking medication, that it is not about others.

I commit myself to investigate myself whenever I fear others judging me as it indicates I am somewhere judging myself.

Whenever I see I fear developing and illness from taking medication, I stop and I breathe. I realise that I am having checks to see that all is well and that I am not taking an exorbitant amount of medication so it is of no use to fear side effects from my medication. And even if I was taking a lot of medication, it is of no use to have fear, I simply deal with what is here and try to reduce the harm the best I can.

Whenever I see I fear medication affecting my mind, I stop and I breathe. I realise that it is harmful for me to NOT take the medication thus it is practical for me to take it as it allows my mind to function properly.

Whenever I see I judge the medication as bad, I stop and I breathe. I realise that it is neither good or bad but simply a point of practical support.

Day 4: Psychotic break - Part 3

This is a continuation of  Day 2 and Day 3, it is suggested to start at the beginning.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that once I know what is a psychotic break, I can identify and stop it, with the help of others as needed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I was alone during my psychotic break.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to explain my problems to others during psychotic break.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear going mad.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see the utmost importance of  developing intimacy 'into me I see' in order to pinpoint any dysfunction of the mind such as a psychotic break.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I would remain  in a psychotic break forever.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think harmful thoughts towards others during my psychotic break.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my life was done while on a psychotic break.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe people where going after me during psychotic break.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to participate in immense fear during psychotic break.

Whenever I see I am going towards a psychotic break, I stop and I breathe. I realise that I need medication and therapy and move steadfast to get it as soon as possible.

I commit myself to get all the necessary help – doctor, therapist, etc -whenever I see I am going towards a psychotic break.

Whenever I see I am going into a psychotic break, I stop and I breathe. I realize that a psychotic break is an illusion, not real - but that it is an imbalance that needs to be sorted out as soon as possible with all the help needed.

Whenever I see I am having harmful thoughts towards others, I stop and I breathe. I realize that it is unacceptable and I stop them and self-forgive, and if there are any other signs such as persecutory delusions that I am going into a psychotic break, then I get all the help needed to sort it out.

Whenever I think I am going mad, I stop and I breathe. I realize that psychotic breaks are temporal and that they will go the same way they appeared.

I commit myself to remind myself that psychotic breaks are temporal.

Day 3: Psychotic break - Part 2

Continuation of Day 2: Psychotic break

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame myself for dooming the world during psychotic break.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I was being persecuted during psychotic break.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe others were enemies/against me during psychotic break.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself during psychotic break.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to consider self-harm during psychotic break.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attempt to harm myself during psychotic break.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe my own delusions during psychotic break.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take decisions based on delusions although they are NOT real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to draw wrong conclusions from my own delusions during psychotic break.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I was trapped during psychotic break.

Whenever I see that I am blaming myself for the state of the world I stop and I breathe, I realize we are all in this together and that we have shared responsibility.

Whenever I feel that I am being persecuted I stop and I breathe. I then talk to people I trust about it to cross-reference because most likely it is not real as there are no reasons why I would be persecuted.

Whenever I perceive others as enemies, I stop and I breathe, I remind myself that there is no such thing as ‘enemies’ and I talk to someone I trust to cross-reference and stop my delusion.

Whenever I see I am considering self-harm, I stop and I breathe. I realize that I am not sane because of that, thus I stop and seek help such as a doctor.

I commit myself to seek help whenever I find myself considering self-harm.

I commit myself to remind myself there are not such things as enemies.

I commit myself to talk openly with people I trust about persecutory delusions so that I can cross reference and stop them.

I commit myself to talk to people I trust whenever I feel I carry the weight of the world.

Day 2: Psychotic break

"A psychotic break occurs when a person experiences an episode of acute primary psychosis, generally for the first time, though it may also be after a significant symptom-free period.

Symptoms of psychotic breaks vary greatly...() Where a bipolar disorder is involved, crying, grandiosity, insomnia, irritability, and persecutory delusions may all or severally manifest themselves as symptoms." Wikipedia

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having a psychotic break.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being in control.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having persecutory delusions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being ridiculed if I have a psychotic break.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being able to control myself if I have a psychotic break.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to remind myself that at all times I have a part of me that is aware and that I can stop any harmful behaviour that I may tend to have when on a psychotic break.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not allow help when on a psychotic break, thus not doing all that is possible for me to get out of it.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to get help when under a psychotic break in fear of what they may say about my thoughts and ideas I was having.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe the persecutory delusions were real instead of seeing that it was only that, an illusion, that has to be treated with medication.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe my own delusions instead of reaching out and getting help 'from the outside'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I have to check what it is happening inside of myself with the outside world/people that I trust so that I make sure I am not in a delusion/illusion that is not real.

Whenever I see that there are things happening that are not quite right inside of myself, I share it with people I trust so I don't fall into delusions/illusions and I can get help in time so I do not go into a psychotic break.

I commit myself to get help whenever something is not quite right inside of myself or I have delusions of any kind so that I can stop them in time and prevent/not go into psychotic break.

Whenever I see that I am going towards a psychotic break, I stop and I breathe, I then talk to people that can help me including my doctor so that I don't go into a full on psychotic break.

I commit myself to speak up whenever I am going towards a psychotic break, so that instead of it growing stronger, I grow stronger and overcome the possible psychotic break.

Whenever I see that I am fearing what will others say about my delusions, I stop and I breathe. I realize that delusions are not real and it is not something to be ashamed of.

I commit myself to share myself and my delusions whenever they appear so I can solve them, see that they are not real and stop them.