218: We are Playing the Game - What Will You Do?

I was listening to this interview by Bernard Poolman and it made me remember the time as a kid when our local youth center prepared a real life roleplay game for us, in short it showed us how bureaucracy works, making it impossible to get the anything because yet another paper was needed, which to get it you had to go to that third place and there you still needed something else.

We have made this game, this life, hard for ourselves, but more for those of us that are outside 'first world' countries. We delulde ourselves even with the name, first world, third world - There is only one world.

And we are responsible, because we humans are the ones that can support all other life, including taking care of - aha - each other.

I suggest listening to interview by clicking here,  2012 -- Why Self Forgiveness?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I am responsible directly or indirectly by everything that happens in this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I am responsible for not speaking up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear speaking up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that unless I speak up I will be held accountable for what I have accepted and allowed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that even if I believe I don't participate in the atrocities in this world, I am indirectly responsible for them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that unless I change myself and with that my environment then I will be held accountable for what I've done.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that this world is not a pretty picture as it is not a pretty picture what goes on in my mind - but I have to change both.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I am capable of changing myself and with this facilitate change in the world.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I am responsible for the atrocities in this world indirectly.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I am responsible for everything of myself, every thought, every reaction and every inaction.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to in moments I see I can speak up = not speak up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I am here and I can decide to change myself as it is the only way.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to be patient with myself and give up on myself.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that all this time that I have not changed can serve me as courage to finally stand up for myself and change.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realise that the moment to change is in every breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to waste breaths participating in energy and addictions - that consist of energy

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I am here, but don't know for how long - thus I should direct every breath towards doing what is Best for All

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a polarity where I forgive myself to feel good to then repeat the thing, abusing self forgiveness in the process.

I commit myself to make my self forgiveness final = to not repeat what I forgive myself for.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disregard the awareness that comes with self forgiveness, where I see that I am about to do something that I have said I would not do, and yet continue doing it.

I commit myself to honour the awareness that comes with self forgiveness to not repeat that which I forgive myself for.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stop wanting self forgiveness to work when I see that my awareness is always there and I knowingly repeat that which I forgave myself for.

 

Day 217: 10 Minutes a Day

 What if I dedicate 10 minutes a day to do that thing which I resist that I know is beneficial for me? It is a cool trick because it breaks the initial resistance of doing something by putting myself to do it knowing it is only 10 minutes, and I don't have to do more. Over time I can increase this amount and so create a habit. This I can apply to writing blogs because sometimes an excuse is time, but who does not have 10 minutes each day? Then I know I don't have an excuse not to write.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not find solutions to write each day.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that I can apply myself at least 10 minutes each day to write.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I can trick myself into doing things that are beneficial for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I have to ‘make it work’ so whatever works it is fine.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to direct myself in practical ways to write.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I can write each day.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that if I miss even one day of the week every week, that means one additional year that this process will take.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that writing each day of the week is essential to complete the 7 year journey to life in 7 years.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become complacent with not writing this blog.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I am capable of writing each day of the week.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that the same discipline I put towards work I can put towards writing this blog.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I am indeed in my own hands.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I am my own cure.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that unless I stand up and write every day, I will not create consistency and consistency is key.

Day 216: Learning to Act Despite 'Not Wanting to Act'

Do I not want to write this blog? I commited a long time ago to write a blog every day, by then I wanted to write a blog every day, so it is not true that I don't want to write a blog a given day, that is the lie.

So is one day I don't want to lie, I mean if one day I don't want to write -- wait, did I not say that not wanting to write is a lie? Yes, not wanting to write is a lie. The only reason I will not write one day here is if I cannot physically do it, but since I am home and I have time, I will write today.

On commitments: If I commit to something, I should question the fact that I 'don't feel like' or 'don't want to' do it. Because it is not real. The decision was already made. In any case I should question the decision, and if the answer is that the decision is valid, then I should honour it by doing the decision.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I don't want to write.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that resistance will be there where I have to change.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to learn to act despite apparently not wanting to act.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that unless I face my resistances I will not be able to accomplish my goals.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that unless I support myself, no one will do it for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that now that I can write I should write because I don't know if I will be 'possessed' into not writing later on and then it will be too late.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to write.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that unless I change, I will not change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself no not see, realise and understand that I will come up with every excuse to not write.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to underestimate the power of writing.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that writing is my only cure.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give into resistances.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that it is in the small acts, such as writing a blog a day, that change happens.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I am alone with myself and that I should not underestimate how 'bad' it can get if I don't correct myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that if I don't direct myself my mind will direct me for myself.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that if I 'turn on the autopilot' I will for sure not change - as I will not do that which I resist.

When and as I see that I go into resistance to writing, I stop and I breathe, I realise that I am fine if I write. I commit myself to write a blog a day.

Day 215: My Creation in Creation

 

This is my creation, everything I do = I am creating. Every act of creation should consider everyone elses best interest, this is the interest of everyone, which includes me in 'EveryOne'.

For instance a house, it comes from Earths' materials and it is best that everyone has one.

Food, and water is the same. Health care. And Fun! Fun that takes everyone into consideration meaning that it does not harm anyone or anything here on Earth.

It is so easy, as participants of this Earth we can vote for this, and I am doing it by sharing what I see, here, in writing for everyone to see. Shart this if you can see it too, or give a like if you can!

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see my responsibility in creating a world that is best for All.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that in everything I do I am voting and participating.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I am not my thoughts, feelings and emotions - as that is an automated system that I have to stop.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that the systems in me will take time to stop, as so will the current systems on earth, but this does not mean that I cannot start with myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that everything has a starting point where one can start, as 'a journey of a 1000 miles starts with a single step'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become overwhelmed by the current creation.

I forgive myself that I haven not accepted and allowed myself to speak up even if the world is fucked up currently - as within, so without.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that the world is a reflection of self.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I can do so much more.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that a within the mess that is Earth currently I can stand up as a voice for myself and for All.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that things will get worse until enough individuals stand up and say no more.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that unless I stand up for myself and for All I will not be putting my piece of the puzzle and many others will not stand up because of that.

I commit myself to stand up for myself and not hold back

I commit myself to share my common sense perspectives

I commit myself to remind myself that my creation is what I will leave behind

Day 214: This Opportunity in Matter

I was watching a movie where a horse sacrifies itself to save her owner, by running until it dies of exhaustion, this made me realise we are in matter, then we stop being in matter, the shape and form we are allowed to live for a moment is a gift, what are we going to do while we are in matter is what matters. We cannot possess matter, we are only given this opportunity to be in matter. Why so much fuss? Why so much abuse of Earth while we are made out of the same substance a horse is made of, a rock is made of, a flower is made of? 

Instead we should, as soon as we arrive an take shape in matter, honour it by doing what is best for all living and the Earth, this is what matters and the opportunity we have.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that all living and non living things are made out of the same substance, we can call dust.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lose myself in energy instead of seeing realising and understanding that I am matter like all other things.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that no matter what I do, I still am matter.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from matter by participating in energy as thoughts, feelings and emotions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that no matter what happens to me, I am still matter while I am still here if I become one and equal with it

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see the opportunity that I have by being in matter of becoming one and equal with it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget that I am matter

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that the utmost purpose is to do what is Best for All

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that unless I become one and equal with matter I will have missed the point of being in matter.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I can in fact by right of being born in matter become one and equal with it

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to honour all life as matter one and equal as myself

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that I am the wind, I am the sun, I am the earth, I am all that exists

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I am the universe

Day 213: Can't Unsee

 

Once I see something, I can't unsee it, no matter what excuses I might come up with, I already know and am aware of it. Even if I believe I will not have consequence for not acting on what I see, that is not true. For example a personal point that I need to direct, or something I know I have to do, it will be always there until I take action, and if I don't I will only be creating consequence for the delay.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that there is consequence for not taking action on what I see.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I can unsee.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that ignorance is bliss.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that once I see something I am no longer innocent and cannot claim I didn't know.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that taking responsibility for all that is me and all that I can see I can do is the way forward.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that taking action is the only way out of being miserable for not taking action.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I have responsibility the moment I become aware of something.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to act on my awareness - i.e. to do what I know I have to walk.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that unless I act on my awareness, knowledge without aplication is useless.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to hide from my awareness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I can go on without acting on my awareness.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that if I don't act on what I see as awareness I will have a miserable life because I know that I know.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let my life sink into inactivity and stagnation by not acting on my awareness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I should act immediately on my awareness.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that there is no 'time' out there to do things but only the present moment/breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use procrastination and excuses to not act on what I see/my awareness.

I commit myself to act on my awareness, on what I see.

I commit myself to act on my awareness within what is best.

Day 212: Do I Have Time?

Do I have time to dedicate to myself? Do I have time to do what is best for me and for All? When faced with a difficult task, as with anything else, we don't know if we will be able to complete it because death is unpredictable - yet what is sure is the only way to get it done is to start and stick with it until the end.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being able to finish something, then I use it as an excuse to not start it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that time is a created thing that one do to dedicate to something

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that if I don't have time to do something completely, it is still the best option to start it anyway

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to make sure I can finish something before I start it, while this is impossible due to the nature of the physical as unpredictable

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I can die at any moment/day

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see the relation of die/day as any day we can die

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be grateful for every day that I get to live

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to be grateful for every breath that I get to experience and live

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take for granted my days and breaths

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that every day is an opportunity to expand, specify and improve myself

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to explore what is possible to do with this one life that I have been given

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take for granted that there is a tomorrow for myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live as if I have plenty of tomorrows as it is unknown

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to work with the certainty of every breath

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that every breath is an opportunity to either be self honest or not and the implications that this have

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that unless I start living in every moment of breath as if it is the last nothing will change

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I will have a future - using this to not stand up for myself in every breath

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put excuses to not stand up for myself in every breath

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the answers and my saviour are there in some future while all the way it is me that have the answers and can 'save myself'