Day 120: Source is Giving her All

Another night, another dream. This time I will save the details for myself - but the general line of the dream was, I was having an awesome dream involving flying and planes - really fun, like a treat-dream -- and I got to know that someone was creating these dreams I am having, they are designed by someone - so I went to meet this someone - it was not easy to find but finally found her - a female - and told her I would like to create a dream for others as well, I said 'about a friendly forest or frequencies, with colours and sound' something cool but really I did not know what to create frankly --

Suddenly I see that she is not standing but in a foetal position, she was almost dying waiting for me she said - and I told her 'in my defence' that as of late I have been behaving well, not giving into addictions and so on - but she did not see it as that great of an achievement, after all she was dying because I was delaying so much time to meet her. I saw in her a Dedication, an iron-clad Strength and Resolve to get what needs to be done done - unlike any other.

In this dream I think I met a representation of Life itself - pure - that does whatever it takes for Individuals to wake up and change.

I realise I have to have the same resolve in application meaning: To do Whatever it Takes, apply myself to the fullest in my application to change myself and this system we live in - after all Life on this planet is dying.

It may sound far-fetched but I have seen how really, I cannot simply stop what I don't like about myself but have to start growing what I do like about myself and my life.

Life is about creation not suppression. For example not giving into addictions is great - but one cannot stop there. If the possibility to push myself is here I have to push myself - to a point - to do more.

It is not to now push too hard to the point that I crash - no - it is simply to remind myself to use the moments where I can do more, to do more, simple as that.

It will arrive the moment when we can design awesome stuff, entertain ourselves about creating magical stuff like dreams maybe who knows - 'design your own dream and share it with others' - That would be interesting and I would like to do it as well. But now is not the moment. In my dream I didn't really know what to create exactly as a dream for others, I had what seemed to me vague ideas not concrete or practical.

If the dreams I am having as of late have been designed by someone they are doing an awesome job because the last three dreams I had have helped me to see that I can do much more and have to do much more with my life, that death is not the answer, but Life.

And finally today when I find within my dreams who is creating my dreams - I see someone that is dying but has a resolve and a drive to the point of not caring for it's own integrity - meaning that does not fear death - but pushes the points to a solution no matter what it takes, even its own integrity -- That's what I saw in my dream.

And that is what I am willing to do as well, give up this one life that I could spend in hedonism or thrill-seeking as I see it leads nowhere - give it up for a life dedicated to honouring Life in all forms.

No one is interested in having a 'nice moment' while the 'world is burning' - in reference to the 'fun' dreams.
It would mean I am like Nero singing while Rome burns - Instead I choose to be like Neo that questions the system to a point where he can change it. That R in the middle 'neRo' needs to be removed - exactly my first initial, Ruben - so I have to remove my old self and be born again into the physical just like the Matrix movie where Neo is unplugged from the machine and has to learn again to move his real body.

This does not mean I cannot live a fulfilling life, with nice moments and with people that I care about - no - it simply means that while I live my life I make sure I am taking care of All life.

Stay put, we are in for a journey, if my dream is true someone is designing our dreams and needs our help: Life itself. Does not sound far-fetched to me seeing how the world currently exists - or do you expect Life to be waiting for our own demise? No.