Day 230: Missing the Point

In trying to be successful, I have been a failure - I was missing the point. It is to not expect results that results come. I had to finally let go, after being very deep in failure, to let go of this wanting to be successful that a form of functionality has appeared in my life, by simply doing, and not expecting anything because nothing is guaranteed in this world, even if you put your best effort. Not saying that it is   to not put the best effort, but not to expect the result. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have to be known

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I have to become known in order for me to be a success

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want my life to be a certain way to believe that I have achieved something when it is not so in fact

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I have to be successful

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be successful

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that fame and money is the goal

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect to change the world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect of me to change the world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put the burden of the world on my shoulders to which I invariably would quit

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget living

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that any expectation makes me miss the point

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the arrogance to believe that if I become successful I can change the world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have to become successful in order to change the world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage myself from being successful in order to not have to change the world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that being ordinary, in this world yet not of this world, is the way

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that there are no conditions to self realize

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I don't know how I am going to assist in changing the world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try to change the world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect self-change

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand the common sense of walking the tools to change myself instead of half-assedly applying the tools and expect to change myself

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see the common sense in doing to get things done

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not walk my process effectively within the common sense realization that I can change myself if I give myself the opportunity

Day 229: I Need a Break

 From TV, eventhough I don't have, or propaganda in general. The world nowadays is full of lies in the media, full-scale hypnotism to get ourselves trapped in thinking what is the next enemy. Corona, war - what is next?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get trapped in the media propaganda 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe there is a threat or an enemy

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that there is no enemy

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that the pointing finger to the enemy Is the enemy, if ever has to be one

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in fear

Now that I got this out of the way, because really it is simply a small - yet seemingly big - obstacle I will change to talk about creation, what is the world that we want to have and leave for the children to come?

We have to be clear here, a nation that is free from war, poverty, abuse in general is a prosper and proper nation. It is simply to achieve this with introducing a system whereas everyone is supported from birth until death, with a form of a basic income. This was early shared by Bernard Poolman, an Equal Money System, where life is the value, where life is valued and taken care of, at the individual level everyone has food, shelter, education and a standard of life that would be and can be akin to one of a millionaire - not billionaire -.

This is possible due to the high levels of automation we have nowadays, with our food production levels being able to feed already the whole of the world, a mere implementation of proper distribution would make this possible. And the production of goods, which would change to make products to last as much as tecnically possible, that is a liftime or more for any products produced.

I am not talking utopia, because what we have right now is a very high level of mass production which is used to produce things that break, and we live in a resource-finite planet - so it doesn't make sense.

We need a break form all of this, and this is only possible through an Equal Money System.

Day 228: I am sorry

I wrote this blog about a month ago or more but I haven't had the courage to post it until now, it is about how we can direct our reality before it is too late - death -, and the only solution I realize now is self forgiveness and self change. Here it is:

I am sorry because that is the only thing I can say, and from here corect myself. This life could be heaven for everyone, we simply have to admit to our wrongdoings and inactions and correct ourselves. 

For example myself, I've participated so much in time wasting and otherwise bullshit activities where I could be supporting myself to become the best version of myself.

Today I have had multiple dreams, when I would wake up, I was again dreaming, then I would do something in the dream to check if I was in reality, and my test would test that it was reality but then - boom - I would wake up in my bed again. This made me think that all I can say is sorry. 

Sorry because I can change, we can change and yet mostly I've not been doing so, and then change the outside as well.

Because one day we will die, and wake up like in a dream, but we will not be able to go back Here in Matter. So I say I am sorry, that I will no longer procrastinate and leave things to chance, that I will direct my reality to a reality that is Best for All, this is a shared reality, not my reality inside my mind, no, we are all in the same reality, as we will have what we directly and indirectly create.

Because if like a dream, this life, this reality is able to be directed to a point that is Best for everyone - if we don't do it it will continue to be hell on Earth.

If you realize that you want to say sorry as well, because you see that this life, in this life, there are no external forces that control you, only if you allow it. All comes from within - In some dreams you can direct what to do, in this reality on Earth it is the same, you can decide. 

Why I say I am sorry? Because I can do so much. Because I allowed so much, I allowed my participation in so much bull shit. While I could have participated in so much else that creates change for the better. And from here I in this moment commit myself to stop all bullshit and start creation as what is Best for All.

This reality is a 3D reality, there is limitation, yes, but it is not unlike a dream in terms of directiveness, as in in some dreams, you can direct reality, inner and outer reality.

So I am sorry because I am not alone and powerless, I have and have had much support over the years to change myself and I have put one percent of effort on my part. 

But it is not to cry over spilled milk, no, but to correct myself is the next step. Correct myself in every moment of breath. It is a process.

Day 227: Possibilities in this Life

The word 'death' popped up in TechnoTutor, and it made me think, that at death the BIG regret is POSSIBILITY - what I could have been and become in this life but I didn't, because the possibility was right there for me but I didn't take it, the possibility for me to be and become more within a world that can be and become more. 

In my life I have not gone for any real opportunity, over the years I have simply been skipping by, living by, without a real ambition for myself other than a wish for Equality in the world, but wishes never become real without hard work.

At points then it is easy to think about giving up when seeing not much that I can show for myself, but then the word Possibility comes up, as the possibility is still Great - more great than what I have achieved so far and that if I die this potential is lost.

If I have to remember one thing is that it is not what I have or am at the moment but what I can be and become in this one life I have been given, and since it can stop in any moment, to not waste a breath - but to invest it to being and becoming the best version of myself.

#technotutor

#Desteni

Day 226: Positive Results & Open Oportunities

What does it look like like 'truly living'? Is there a formula for living to the fullest extent, to living to my utmost potential. Like a plant, that develops it's root systems before shooting up, I think that I should develop my roots as well, and that is the roots of knowing myself to then design myself to my fullest potential -- to become an effective human being, what are the things to have into consideration? My hability to process information that would be one thing to have into consideration, so to maximize my effectivity in this world I should have a high information processing hability, then put it into any field will yeld positive results. 

There is no much else to do, really, but to improve oneself. Because whatever I do, who is it doing it? Me -- this me is what I have to work on because ultimately it is what I will use to work on anything.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want new results without improving myself

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see the obvious in the need of improving myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I am here as breath no matter where in my developmental phase I am

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my stage of learning that I am without seeing realizing and understanding that I am where I need to be

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that if I am not anywhere else is because I didn't know better

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that if I am not anywhere else is because I couldn't do better

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I didn't have a real opportunity up until today - or if I had I didn't know how to use it - or if I did know I didn't use it - and if I didn't use it I don't judge myself or it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think about past oportunities that are already dead without looking for Alive opportunities Today

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I have to look for open opportunities where I can go in and do the utmost use of them.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself that I have to prepare myself because only the prepared are presented with the opportunities. 

I commit myself to prepare myself so that I can walk any opportunity that opens up for myself.

I commit myself to develop myself so that I am prepared to jump in and walk into a new opportunity.

I commit myself to spend time in developing myself effectively with the tools I have available.

I commit myself to remind myself to develop myself daily.

I commit myself to let go of my self definition and instead create a new me in every moment.

Day 225: Chain of Events to the Present

 

Walk the talk, and so I walk, regardless of how many days I have missed, every day is a new opportunity to write. No need to obsess myself so much with the chain of events, meaning the past, as if in I have not written for a couple of days somehow I am cursed lol. Instead I will write on a given day if I can, without looking back at how many days I have missed, and so giving me the opportunity to write unconditionally.

It is interesting how we or I can use the past to condition our present. So use the past as an excuse. But instead I can forget about the past and simply do what is best, in every moment, regardless.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the past as an excuse to not write, as an excuse to condition my present.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand the Present in present as in the gift in present where it is a gift that is given to me unconditionally for me to do what is best.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to taint my Present with my Past - where I don't have to do that in fact.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to enjoy my Present as the present.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look back at the Past during my Present and let that influence my present negatively.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that looking back has to be done to learn form my past not to influence my Present in any other way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give importance to the chain of events to the present whereas in fact it is not important as in every single breath I can change completely, in any given breath of the Present.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow memories as the past to influence my Present.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that to truly be free I have to let go of the past and live completely in the Present as every breath Here.

I commit myself to let go of the past in every breath and live unconditinally in the Present that is the present.

Day 224: Creative Powers

Bipolar is fun - but has consequences -, that is the highs, thats why myself and others, there was a time that I didn't want to take medication for it. Because medication can make you feel normal - how horrible! - Or low, which is worse.

Because when I was in a manic high I could from my point of view, do anything, achieve anything and talk to anyone super elocuently. Eventhough I might come out as a nut to other people, I had a high drive and belief that I could do anything!

Because I could believe I was able to do anything, I would go for dubvious ventures that were out of the scope, like a supermarket chain once for example, I believed I could create that. And as time progressed then I wold think something else so nothing was done. 

But in terms of communication, I was able to communicate more with other people, even do some magic tricks with money on the spot (see speending too much money), so basically I had a lot of fun in my manic highs of bipolar.

I want to move this pure, raw belief in myself to my day to day life where I am on a normal state. Because what can one be able to accomplish with pure belief in oneself and with detailed action that not being manic gives you.

A realisation: I am not two persons, one manic and one normal or non-manic. I am one person, and whatever I was able to do while manic I can do while 'normal'.

When I was manic I had this radical belief in myself, that I could do anything, all encompassing and so big that I felt so good and everything I put myself to do, I would trust myself completely, like playing a piano in a restaurant, eventhough I didn't take one piano lesson in my life I did that.

So with that my creative powers were heightened because:

- I believed in myself 100%

- I thought I could do and achieve anything

- I wanted to have fun and others have fun with me

That is the key points.

See how interesting it is the third point: Once I believe that I can do and achieve anything there is one thing that arises and it is: To have fun. I wanted to have fun and have all others have fun with me, so I would for example share and be more active in Instagram with my adventures and I got feedback that people enjoyed it.

So once we break the barriers that we cannot change this world and we in fact believe and do it, the next point will be Having Fun together.

Disclaimer: Hipomania can lead to full blown mania, psych hospitalization and loss of money in many cases (overspending).