Day 128: Emptiness feeling

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the emptiness feeling is real

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the emptiness feeling is real and have to fill it with something - instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that it is simply energy

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall for the trap of negative energy

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that energy is not real - positive or negative

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I can breathe through positive and negative energies

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that if I accept and allow my participation in positive energies I am at the same time accepting and allowing myself to participate in negative energies

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that here as breath I am stable - without the need of energy

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have to do something special if I am having the emptiness feeling, without seeing, realizing and understanding that I can simply be here and breath through it until it is no more - as it is not real

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the emptiness feeling is simply a polarity of somewhere I have participated in positive energy - so I simply have to breathe through it until it is no more

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have to make the emptiness feeling go away as soon as I experience it not seeing, realizing and understanding that I don't need to go to the other polarity but simply remain grounded here as breathe

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to whenever I have the emptiness feeling, want to go to the opposite polarity as feel good, not seeing, realizing and understanding that the very fact the emptiness feeling exists is  because I participate in its polarity as feel-good energy

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to trust myself that I can stand within any feeling that I may experience such as the emptiness feeling - and stand until it is no more

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize I already have the tools to deal with whatever I am experiencing, namely writing, self honesty and self forgiveness

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge feeling empty as bad when it is only an emotion that I have to walk through, breathe through, forgive and let go

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I can stand in the face of the 'emptiness feeling' emotion - as I am more than energy

Day 127: Letting Go of Images as Women

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myeslf to look for specific patterns in women as what I like and don't like - without looking at the being-level

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let images override what is important as Who the being is and not external looks

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look at women as 'trophies' where if I can 'get' a so-called 'good looking' woman then I have more self-worth

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe the looks of a woman that I am in a relationship with will give me self-worth - which is in fact not true

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be brainwashed by media and porn into looking for specific patterns in woman without looking at Who the person is

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define beautiful on external looks

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that external looks are irrelevant - as it is not the true representation of the being

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept nowadays beauty standards as true

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit my interaction with women by judging them based on their appearance

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that looks are really irrelevant - but Who the being is, that is relevant

Whenever I see that judge women based on looks, I stop and I breathe. I realize we do not choose our looks. Thus I commit myself to get to know the preson, to see Who the being is - disregarding looks deliberately

Whenever I see that I look at women as trophies, I stop and I breathe. I realize getting a partner is not a competition, where the one who gets a better looking female wins the competition. Thus I commit myself to stop my participation in the game to get a best looking female to instead look for the best being - one that I can be in a relationship of support with.

Day 126: Imagine You Have Nothing

Imagine you have nothing? Who will you be? What will you do? Tonight, walking home from a night out I imagined I have no home, nowhere to return and then I started to apply self forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to value myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that all I have I will have forever

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am more or less depending on what I 'apparently own'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to value myself as little since I see that I don't have much - in relation to rich people.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that my self-value is independent of what I have and possess

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to value myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to value myself according to what I own

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see there is no point in valuing myself in relation to what I own, as what I own here I cannot take to the here after

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am inferior because I am not rich

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to value myself for who I am

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I am valuable regardless of what I own

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to value who I am

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that who I am is valuable

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to value myself according to what I do

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I am not what I do

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have to attain something in order to be valuable

Whenever I see that I believe I need something external to me in order to be valuable, I stop and I breathe. I realize I am valuable for who I am alone. Thus I commit myself to remind myself that I am valuable for who I am

Whenever I see that I value myself with regards to what 'I own' as material things, I stop and I breathe. I realize what is material will no longer be at one point. Thus I commit myself to remind myself that what matters is Who I Am not what I own

Whenever I see that I value myself with regards to what I do, I stop and I breathe. I realize it is not what I do but who I am in what I do. Thus I commit myself to remind myself it is not what I do that matters but who I am within what I do

Day 125: Simply Self-Forgiveness

The other day I wanted to show my blog to a student that I give classes of english to, so I told her to say one number from 1 to 124 - she said 8 - so I went to see what I have as an entry for day 8 of this blog. It turns out it is a self-forgiveness post where I simply write self forgiveness. So I explained to her briefly what is self forgiveness.

Today I did not know what to write about so merely sticking to self forgiveness is enough.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have to have great realisations in order to write a blog post.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I need to have a great insight in order to write a blog post.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see the simplicity of sticking to self forgiveness if I do not know what to write about.

Whenever I see that I believe I need a great insight/realisation in order to write a blog post, I stop and I breathe. I realise I can stick to self forgiveness if I don't have a realisation to share/write about. So I commit myself to stick to self forgiveness if I don't have a realisation to share.

Lately I have seen that studying will be tough, meaning that I have to come face to face with doing things I am not used to do, namely maths, that I don't know how to go about doing it and it looks seemingly impossible.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to give up/give up when facing Maths problems.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that only because I don't know how to do something, I will not be able to do it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to postpone facing maths only because I don't know how to do certain exercises yet.

Whenever I see that I want to give up when facing a maths problem, I stop and I breathe. I realise that only because I don't know how to something it does not mean that I can't do it. Thus I commit myself to face maths problems until I can do them correctly.

Whenever I see I postpone doing maths problems just because I don't know how to do them, I stop and I breathe. I realize there is much that I can do so that I prepare myself to face the maths exercise. Thus I commit myself to prepare myself and do whatever I can so I get to understand the maths problem.

Sleeping during the day

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use sleeping during the day as a way to try to escape my reality.

Whenever I see that I want to escape my reality by sleeping, I stop and I breathe. I realise that there is something I am not willing to face. Thus I commit myself to investigate what I am trying to avoid and face it instead.

Day 124: Being Shot

Yesterday I went to sleep knowing I might receive a lesson in form of a dream, and it has been the case. I dreamed a whole adventure, which I don't remember - I only remember the end: I was standing with about three beings surrounding me, I got shot - although painless, it made me wake up - so I shifted from the Dream-Reality into Real-Reality through being shot.

This makes me wonder, all the adventures I was having throughout the dream were not relevant, how I died however in my dream I remember perfectly - the three beings standing around me, one of them shoots at me and I am dead in the Dream-Reality and wake up in the Real-Reality on my bed, breathing in.

It is most important how we die. Sometimes our lives can be a story more or less satisfying or adventurous but when we die, was it all relevant? Did it have any real meaning what we lived? Is it not more important what we leave behind than the experience we had in it?

Let's put for example this world. When I die I might wake up in another reality - or not - and might not remember what I have done here on Earth - So what is really relevant is what I Leave Behind for others to Live.

My dream means: When you leave this world, you are out, so don't bother with treasuring experiences and so on, it is merely an adventure that will most likely be forgotten when you cross over. But what I leave behind, that is Real and will affect those that keep living in this reality.

That is why it is most important to leave a reality here that is Best for All -- In the end we will all die and only what is left behind will be important, not the more or less adventurous story you lived - if My Story on Earth does not cause an impact that changes This Reality - it has no value.

It has to suck to be shot in this Real Reality and wake up in another reality realizing that my whole story had no point, no purpose, no meaning - that my story on Earth did not create an outcome that is best for All - that I didn't leave behind a Solved Earth.

And we will know when we die, how did we die, but our story will it be relevant? If it did not create an outcome that is Best for All I'd say it is completely irrelevant. I tried to remember my dream but I only knew vaguely what it was about - what I DID remember vividly was being shot, my end -- and it made me move in a moment from the Dream into Reality on Earth - it was Radical, nothing was said by the beings standing around me, it was simply my time to go from the Dream into Reality.

The same happens on Earth, when I visited the farm and I was in the car with Bernard Poolman and I was trying to buckle up, put the safety belt on, as we were about to drive - but we were in country roads - and he said 'When it is your time to go it is your time to go' In relation to me putting on the seatbelt -- I reasoned inside myself that if we had an accident and it was my time to go, the seatbelt would be of no use. So I did not put it on - like he didn't. I see I was putting it on in a bit of fear, and not putting it on made me 'face consequence' more clearly, like saying, 'here I am if it is my time to go it is my time to go'. Currently I do put it on, but that moment made me realize that = It is of no use to try to put barriers to death, we will all die when it is our moment to die. And no one knows when it is.

Interestingly the same happened when I worked for the police for a little while before visiting the farm, when I put the seatbelt on in the police car the cop said, 'what are you doing?' As cops don't put the seatbelt on to drive around the city.

So there arrives the time when it is our time to go, and nothing profound will be said, you will simply shift realities - if there is another reality for you out there - and this Earth Reality you will no longer be able to influence/change -- so let's make the most (read this with common sense) of this opportunity we have to change this Reality -- as this is what is Most Important, that we leave behind a reality that is Best for All.

Day 123: Great Balls Of FIre

New dream. This time I was trying to fly up to the sky but couldn't and was talking to people about it - kinda like arguing for my limitations - while this was happening I was entertaining myself with relationships and addiction-related stuff when suddenly I realize: I am standing of top of a huge gasoline tank! And it is going to explode! I start flying up towards the sky with high speed and when I am a bit off from the tank it explodes creating huge balls of fire that approach me as I go flying away and they almost burn my feet.

I realize this dream has to do with how I live life and about life on Earth, where we have a massive problem and I entertain myself with random stuff but really I have a problem to deal with that is going to cause problems - and I can move faster 'as in flying up' only that I don't do because I argue for my own limitations and am entertained with petty stuff. But really am capable of moving much faster. Or that I only move when 'shit hits the fan'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I don't have to believe I am my current limitations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wait for external 'shit to happen' before I move myself.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to move myself within the realization that it is needed - without having to have 'shit hitting the fan' for me to move myself.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to apply myself within self-movement and instead wait for things to happen externally for me to move.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how much I could do more if I apply myself in every moment and don't allow myself to be distracted with random stuff.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to argue for my own limitations - instead of working to overcome them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put my own limitations as an excuse to not stand up and change.

Whenever I see that I believe I am my own limitations, I stop and I breathe. I realize that I am not my own limitations. Thus I commit myself to work on overcoming my own limitations.

Whenever I see that I wait for external things to 'move me' - I stop and I breathe. I realize I can move myself without the need so something spearing me. Thus I commit myself to move myself in every moment so that I live self-movement.

Whenever I see that I get distracted with random stuff, I stop and I breathe. I realise I have to focus on what is important. Thus I commit myself to focus on what is important and disregard random stuff - that is not supportive stuff.

Whenever I see that I argue for my own limitations, I stop and I breathe. I realise I can find a solution for every problem that I have. Thus I commit myself to find a solution for every problem I face instead of 'arguing' for my own limitations.

Whenever I see that I put my own limitations as an excuse not to change and stand up for myself, I stop and I breathe. I realise everyone has limitations and it is up to each one to overcome them - and there is no excuse to not do that - Thus I commit myself to acknowledge my limitation and work towards solving it instead of using it as an excuse not to change and stand up for myself.

Day 122: I'm Not A People Pleaser

A people pleaser is someone that when you ask them, how are you? No matter what they will say 'ok' lol I have seen myself doing it in the past - Also wanting to avoid conflict with people and wanting to have them 'happy about me' all the time. So it is about time to stop this nonsense and get real - meaning - If I am not that well, to say it, and to not want to avoid conflict because for example I had my ear pierced, there might be some conflict possibly but in reality I should not change and not have my ear pierced just to please my employer -- as long as I don't have it at work it is fine - it is non of his business what I do in my personal life. And it makes me abit angry having been a people pleaser because when I do that I go against myself and what I really want to do and about how I really feel.

Some points have arisen since having my ear pierced - such as fear of being thrown out from my job - which is unlikely and it is merely a fear and it is irrational. And the people-pleaser point.

I have gone to the doctor today - the psychiatrist - and she says I am a bit on the upper part, meaning a bit hypomaniac - which I do not agree entirely but she insists. I do not agree with her because I do not have the signs that usually appear for me with hypomania which are: Less sleep, maybe being irritable, wanting to talk too much, having more energy to do projects, being too artistic -- I have none of those yet she insists lol. She says it is maybe because we do not know eachother that well yet.

The doctor asked me if I had done the ear piercing in 'normal conditions' which is non-hypomaniac - and I said I don't know but that I was very calm when going to do it. At the end she said to keep a high dose of antipsychotic but lower it if I have adverse effects such as if I tend to sleep too much.

So this point of being a people pleaser comes up a bit here, because if I take the extra medication 'just to please her' I am not doing myself any favour -- So I will keep the medication as it is and not take extra just because she 'seemingly sees something' that I don't see - nor my immediate enviroment sees - I will not take the extra medication only to please her. In the past I did take extra and it made me sleepy so I am not entirely refusing to take it and I am following her advise - that I can continue with the medication as it is if it gives me adverse effects - so I will keep it as it is.

Tomorrow I will talk to my employer about going back to uni and I don't know how he will react as I had left it for work this year and he does not expect that I go back but it is for my best interest that I go back. So I will stand by my decision no matter what his reaction is.

I see in myself the point of wanting to please others namely my employer and the fear of conflict.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being thrown out from my job for having my ear pierced.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having conflict at work for having pierced my ear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not having a job if I lose the job I have currently

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being hypomaniac and not knowing it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear getting poorer conditions at work as a punishment for having pierced my ear.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to remind myself of the word Stand - Where I have to stand up for myself no matter what.

Whenever I see I fear being 'trown off' my work place for having had my ear pierced, I stop and I breathe. I realize this fear is irrational and I don't have to give importance to it.
Thus I commit myself to not give importance to my piercing in relation to my workplace.

Whenever I see that I fear having poorer conditions at work for having had my ear pierced, I stop and I breathe. I realise it is up to me to accept or not accept anything in this world/my workplace - thus I commit myself to not accept anything less than what I see is acceptable in my workplace.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my employer reacting negatively to me going back to uni.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my employer being 'angry' at me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be a 'people pleaser' in wanting to have my employer happy about me at all times.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise or understand that I cannot possibly have all people happy about me all the time - that is impossible.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear conflict.

Whenever I see that I fear conflict, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize and understand that conflict will arise many times in my lifetime and that I have to learn how to deal with it. Thus I commit myself to deal with anything as conflict that may come up - instead of preocuppying myself about it in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I am capable of dealing with conflict - and it is not something that I cannot deal with - So I commit myself to remind myself that I am capable of dealing with conflict, in my workplace and elsewhere.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to please my doctor in taking extra medication when deep down I know I don't need it as I don't have any signs nor anyone else in my envoronment sees any signs that I am hypomaniac currently.

Whenever I see that I want to please others such as my doctor or my employer, I stop and I breathe. I realise I don't have to do anything to please others, it is not my job. I commit myself to whenever I see I want to act in ways that go against me in order to please others, stop, breathe and change.

Day 121: The Power of Example

The other day I saw a facebook post from a Destonian about wearing earrings as a male - and how the world STAND came up where he stood no matter what others said about it.

I remembered how I put an earring once but later removed it as it got infected and was more or less persuaded by my mother to remove it. This time I put it on again and when I was at work my employer told me what happened to my ear as I had it covered because you can't wear earrings at my workplace. I told him it was an ear piercing and he simply looked me straight into my eyes - and I simply stood there Standing as well. It was a cool moment where I did not cower or hide from him but simply stood.

At the end of the shift I was at work when no costumers were around and I removed the cover of the piercing to show it to my coworkers - and guess what - my employer happened to come by and saw it - he stood there looking at it and finally told me that to work the next day I have to remove it as it is not allowed to wear earrings - this time I simply said I cannot remove it as it is freshly done but will cover it - again standing - and he said ok smiled and went off.

To me it is important to Stand in front of anyone but specially my employer - I have to stand up for myself with regards to anything that goes on at work for example if I want changes done in my contract and so on - one has to stand and not accept the lesser things that employers tend to give employees that do not stand for themselves such as working conditions and so on.

Hence the importance of Example and Showing Others what you have realised. I am grateful to this Destonian sharing about the point as I could integrate it into my life and Stand as well.

A reminder for me to keep sharing about my process as it is relevant for others that might be going through the same - we all have similar points and problems we face and together we can help each other.

This example of the earrings was shared on the #LIVINGWORDS day at the Desteni Universe Facebook group - if you are part of it or become part of it you will see many examples that are very cool about Living Words such as in this case STAND.

Previously I had not given it much attention to Living Words but I can see the impact it can have on one's day to day living. Definitely something to give it a look as it is part of the basics of the basics.

There are other Theme Days on the Desteni Universe Facebook group - where one can see the practical application of the tools which is great. 

Day 120: Source is Giving her All

Another night, another dream. This time I will save the details for myself - but the general line of the dream was, I was having an awesome dream involving flying and planes - really fun, like a treat-dream -- and I got to know that someone was creating these dreams I am having, they are designed by someone - so I went to meet this someone - it was not easy to find but finally found her - a female - and told her I would like to create a dream for others as well, I said 'about a friendly forest or frequencies, with colours and sound' something cool but really I did not know what to create frankly --

Suddenly I see that she is not standing but in a foetal position, she was almost dying waiting for me she said - and I told her 'in my defence' that as of late I have been behaving well, not giving into addictions and so on - but she did not see it as that great of an achievement, after all she was dying because I was delaying so much time to meet her. I saw in her a Dedication, an iron-clad Strength and Resolve to get what needs to be done done - unlike any other.

In this dream I think I met a representation of Life itself - pure - that does whatever it takes for Individuals to wake up and change.

I realise I have to have the same resolve in application meaning: To do Whatever it Takes, apply myself to the fullest in my application to change myself and this system we live in - after all Life on this planet is dying.

It may sound far-fetched but I have seen how really, I cannot simply stop what I don't like about myself but have to start growing what I do like about myself and my life.

Life is about creation not suppression. For example not giving into addictions is great - but one cannot stop there. If the possibility to push myself is here I have to push myself - to a point - to do more.

It is not to now push too hard to the point that I crash - no - it is simply to remind myself to use the moments where I can do more, to do more, simple as that.

It will arrive the moment when we can design awesome stuff, entertain ourselves about creating magical stuff like dreams maybe who knows - 'design your own dream and share it with others' - That would be interesting and I would like to do it as well. But now is not the moment. In my dream I didn't really know what to create exactly as a dream for others, I had what seemed to me vague ideas not concrete or practical.

If the dreams I am having as of late have been designed by someone they are doing an awesome job because the last three dreams I had have helped me to see that I can do much more and have to do much more with my life, that death is not the answer, but Life.

And finally today when I find within my dreams who is creating my dreams - I see someone that is dying but has a resolve and a drive to the point of not caring for it's own integrity - meaning that does not fear death - but pushes the points to a solution no matter what it takes, even its own integrity -- That's what I saw in my dream.

And that is what I am willing to do as well, give up this one life that I could spend in hedonism or thrill-seeking as I see it leads nowhere - give it up for a life dedicated to honouring Life in all forms.

No one is interested in having a 'nice moment' while the 'world is burning' - in reference to the 'fun' dreams.
It would mean I am like Nero singing while Rome burns - Instead I choose to be like Neo that questions the system to a point where he can change it. That R in the middle 'neRo' needs to be removed - exactly my first initial, Ruben - so I have to remove my old self and be born again into the physical just like the Matrix movie where Neo is unplugged from the machine and has to learn again to move his real body.

This does not mean I cannot live a fulfilling life, with nice moments and with people that I care about - no - it simply means that while I live my life I make sure I am taking care of All life.

Stay put, we are in for a journey, if my dream is true someone is designing our dreams and needs our help: Life itself. Does not sound far-fetched to me seeing how the world currently exists - or do you expect Life to be waiting for our own demise? No.

Day 119: Check Back To Reality

Another dream.

This time I have some money and am at home and interact with my family members in a very harsh/hostile way, I only want to go get a tattoo done of the EQAFE logo on my chest, two little loops one at each side of my collarbones - lol. I go literally flying towards the tattoo shop, but it is too windy to fly so I can't fly straight, so I decide to walk, but suddenly I have a motorbike underneath me and I can simply give some gas to drive the motorbike - it is my brothers motorbike. I go without a helmet - the police sees me and stops me. I do as if I simply forgot the helmet but later on I disclose that I also don't have the driving license - in the process I am talking with the police the motorbike starts falling apart, the registration plate had fallen a while ago and they found it so they know who I am, the motorbike's battery falls to the floor... I try to scape but am caught and put into jail, where I find a neighbour that does not seem to recognize me from the past - I say I will try to escape but it looks gloomy - the jail is packed.

What does it all mean? Part by part and this is a bit of a difficult post but very eye opening - why? Because it makes me realize I have a long way to go and very much to walk still. Because the EQAFE tattoo, that I want to have done in my dream means 'promoting a message' because I do the tattoo for everyone to see on my chest, two little EQAFE loops. While all the while I have not cleared my relationship with my family, I have not applied to an effective degree what the very message entails which is self-change.

The police catching me without a license is the system saying hey - you have not really applied yourself to become effective at living in the system either - and yes I do not yet have a driving license which is something Bernard Poolman asked me - he simply asked, do you have a driving license? And I said no. Nothing more was said but I knew that a driving license is something one has to work towards and that I am working on currently. And also I don't have yet a university degree.

The neighbour not recognizing me in jail, In my dream I get to know the answer, he does recognize me but does as if he does not - Why? Because he knows it won't make a difference, we are all locked in prison so no need to 'recognize' me for anything as I did not make a difference for them and ended up with them when I could have made a change.

This part of the neighbour is crucial - In the moment of death, do you think all others that are dead that you knew during your lifetime will come rushing in to cheer you up? If you didn't make a difference for this world? If you did not stand up for yourself in this one lifetime? And I am speaking for me here, I am the one that had the dream but I think this applies for everyone. - No, no one will come rushing in to tap me on the back unless I have made a difference in this world, because if I have not made a difference in this world, I would be fucked as all others, and why bother cheering up someone for helping ALL remain inside prison/in chains?

And who needs a tap on the back when one has helped to change the world? Sure I don't as I am satisfied with the world changed - where All can Live and Express Fully.