Day 182: Math and I

I have failed at math more that I would have liked, and had some success, here untangling my relationship to math so I can explore it with unveiled eyes from past failures and instead apply myself to become better at it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior to math

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am less than math

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to become one and equal to math

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to dread math

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist doing math

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am bad at math

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I am math

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I have to train myself to do well at math if no other teacher was able to do this with me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to claim specialness by  not allowing anyone to teach me math effectively as if apparently 'no one can teach me' by not doing my part.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist doing math with my mom

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist doing math with my grandmother

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame math teachers for me not knowing enough math

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I can have fun learning math

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not do math during summer when I was a kid

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge math as too dificult instead of putting myself to do it

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that math is not difficult or easy, I simply have to understand and practice it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disregards the moments where I've had success with math, not seeing, realising and understanding that I can have success with All math

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear math

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not look at math in the eye, as equals

I commit myself to teach myself math

I commit myself to let go of blame towards the subject of math, teaching it to myself instead

I commit myself to have patience with myself in regards to math